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21 Jokes About Exercise You Can Laugh At From The Comfort Of Your Own Bed

"I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James."

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(vomits while dioing pushups at the gym and resists every attempt from professional trainers to stop me from continuing)

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Woke up at 6 & went for a jog before hitting the gym for an hour. Now I'm back home, making up a bunch of absolute bullshit about my morning

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[at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying

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I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James.

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*Refuses to go to the gym Adds resistance training to workout list.

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i did like 5 squats today so if you catch me looking a lil thick tomorrow don't be alarmed

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Me: [Eating pizza for breakfast] Gym nerd: [pouring 8 flourescent powders into a gym bottle] I dunno how u can put that shit into your body

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dunno what the best part of this is? being called 'jack sexty' or getting an award for shitting on exercise equipment

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I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.

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"Welcome to Armageddon Welcome to Legageddon Welcome to Quadageddon" Me: *raises hand* Are you the only trainer available at the gym today?

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today a cab driver asked me if I ran the New York marathon and I laughed so hard I might as well have

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exercise exerci exer ex extr extra f extra fries

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*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*

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Do people who say, "Exercise helps me relax" know about not exercising?