1.
2.
(vomits while dioing pushups at the gym and resists every attempt from professional trainers to stop me from continuing)
3.
Woke up at 6 & went for a jog before hitting the gym for an hour. Now I'm back home, making up a bunch of absolute bullshit about my morning
4.
5.
[at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying
6.
7.
I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James.
8.
*Refuses to go to the gym Adds resistance training to workout list.
9.
10.
i did like 5 squats today so if you catch me looking a lil thick tomorrow don't be alarmed
11.
12.
Me: [Eating pizza for breakfast] Gym nerd: [pouring 8 flourescent powders into a gym bottle] I dunno how u can put that shit into your body
13.
dunno what the best part of this is? being called 'jack sexty' or getting an award for shitting on exercise equipment
14.
I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.
15.
"Welcome to Armageddon Welcome to Legageddon Welcome to Quadageddon" Me: *raises hand* Are you the only trainer available at the gym today?
16.
17.
today a cab driver asked me if I ran the New York marathon and I laughed so hard I might as well have
18.
19.
exercise exerci exer ex extr extra f extra fries
20.
*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*
21.
Do people who say, "Exercise helps me relax" know about not exercising?