1. When it somehow drained all the happiness out of a perfectly good cake.
2. When it ruined a perfectly good hair conditioner.
3. When it selfishly infiltrated these bottles of vodka and took all the fun out of alcohol.
4. When it ruined a perfectly good cup of tea.
5. When it completely destroyed a perfectly good pizza.
6. When it ruined an entire morning by pissing on someone's porridge.
7. When someone decided adding "cheeky coriander" to some innocent tikka sauce was a good idea.
8. When it unnecessarily showed up in someone's butter.
9. When it rudely invited itself to the martini party.
10. When it made a ridiculous surprise appearance in someone's hand wash.
11. When its mere existence was enough to dampen someone's day.
12. When it snuck into some perfectly good pesto.
13. And wrecked a perfectly good meal.
14. When it attempted to ruin every pho on this planet.
15. When it somehow made itself a vital ingredient in beer.
16. When it had the nerve to find its way on to some poor, undeserving pancakes.
17. When it ruined a perfectly good friendship.
18. When it made it really fucking difficult to enjoy Mexican food.
19. And attempted to destroy every dining experience.
20. When it spoiled a perfectly delicious menu.
21. When it wasn't content with fucking up people's food, so snuck itself into a game of Words With Friends instead.
22. When it ruined the sanctity of ice cream.
23. When even Bob's Burgers had clearly had enough of this devil herb.
"Say it ain't Cilantro Burger. (Doesn't come with cilantro...Because cilantro is terrible.)" Yep.