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24 Jokes About Sex That Are Way, Way Too Real

"There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, 'am I sexual?' & they're like, 'yeah'"

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1.

When he putting the condom on and you just waiting there like 😂

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I don't think you should fake orgasm. But if you do, a pretty convincing face is "scandalized by the price of a $17 wedge of cheese."

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There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."

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8.

[court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record

9.

when he nuts under 30 seconds saying it's stress but you know it's your samsung note 7 pussy.

10.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. So would mine, probably, if I was having sex with something made out of bacon.

11.

After I orgasm, I yell "Aaaaand scene." Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say "Ummm. We'll call u."

12.

when he says he's got the girth & he do

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13.

Sometimes I think being a girl is so unfair and then other times I have 27 consecutive orgasms.

15.

I ask for booty pics and I get a booth pic puzzle are you serious...

16.

My wife once told me " Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms", which pissed me off because my names not Mike

17.

*fakes orgasm by throwing warm yoghurt over their back*

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18.

Dating A Ghost: Cons: no money, no warm flesh to palpate, family doesn't like him, maybe not real? Pro: only way I can orgasm right now

19.

sex lit and that but this feeling is some next level shit

20.

yall dont think i read replies to my tweets huh? in my mentions like "choke me daddy". is that funny to you beth

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23.

Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba

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