22 Reasons Why Eggs Should Be Banished From This Earth

Don’t try and tell me it’s not a chicken’s period.

1. Eggs infiltrate every breakfast food they can find.

2. People feel the need to put eggs on EVERYTHING.

This would be a perfectly good pizza without the eggs. Get it off.

3. Why would anyone need eggs with sweetcorn and GRAVY? BURN IT.

4. It’s the main ingredient in mayonnaise a.k.a the worst fucking condiment on the planet.

5. Some sadist actually had the horrific idea to combine the two and make this stink fest.

Egg mayo is proof that the devil is real.

6. Here’s an accurate depiction of what egg mayo does to our children.

My dearest nephew Bert, trying an egg mayo sandwich for the first (and last) time. #WholeLottaEgg

— Joe Alessi (@alessismore64)

#BanEggMayo #BanItNow #ThinkOfTheChildren

7. Eggs smell like the farts of a thousand trolls.

VH1 / Via giphy.com

8. Too many people pretend as if scrambled eggs are anything but the smushed hopes and dreams of your breakfast experience.

This looks like a plate of mushy regret.

9. This is not a “life hack”, it’s a fucking nightmare.

View this embed ›

10. Every so often eggs crack and reveal their true colours of absolute grossness.

I swear this is why I hate eating eggs

— blahblah (@onikashabibi)

11. Fear them! For eggs hath no shame.

"@brxddd: DROPPED AN EGG ON THE FLOOR & THERES A BABY CHICK INSIDE IT WTF IS THIS " this is why I hate eggs @LozBana

— ~ ads ~ (@adamsimpson98)

12. Eggs are slippery motherfuckers that are too damn fragile to handle real life.

Get it together eggs, you’re embarrassing yourselves.

14. Eggs encourage horrific meal choices.

View this embed ›

Fish and eggs? Really?

16. They can even ruin a perfectly good portrait of Ron Swanson.

17. This picture would excite many people, but to most correct people it’s a fat lot of nope.

18. The worst day of the year is officially the 3rd of June because somehow eggs have managed to ruin THAT too.

I was born on national egg day, but I hate eggs. This is great tbh.

— kai lan (@anna_603)

20. But instead, people are actively making the world worse by moulding eggs into schlongs.

I shall always remember this as the day I ruined eggs for an entire country. I'm the second coming of Edwina Currie.

— Rhik Samadder (@whatsamadder)

21. This is where they belong. In the toilet with all the rest of Earth’s shit.


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Gena-mour Barrett is a staff writer for BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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