1.
When you're around someone who hates swearing and it only makes you want to swear more.
2.
And when someone dares to tell you to stop swearing.
3.
When you promise not to swear and then break that promise two seconds later.
4.
When you try to hold your tongue around a child.
5.
When you're around someone else's parents and you accidentally let a swear word slip out.
6.
When you're in a serious work meeting and you're attempting to be professional.
7.
When you're watching a scary movie and can't help but curse at the jumpy bits.
8.
When you try to come up with alternative swear words, but all of them sound shit in comparison.
9.
When you're super nervous and the only way to dispel your nerves is to go on a sweary tirade.
10.
When you can't swear out loud, so you have to subtly get your point across.
11.
When you're meeting a stranger and have to apologise for your swearing before you've even started talking.
12.
And when you're on a date, and have to tone it down just to see how much they can actually handle.
13.
When you do something clumsy and immediately have to swear to make yourself feel better.
14.
When you naively buy a swear jar and find out within an hour that swear jars are actually fucking useless.
15.
When you're at a family event and you're forced to stop cursing.
16.
When you're drinking and can't quite control the rate of your swearing any more.
17.
And when you're told that swearing is unattractive, and you're actually expected to give a shit.
