What Kind Of Alien Invader Are You?
Your strategy simple: Hiding in plain, you sit back and observe the day to day habits of these intolerable human beings, learning everything you can about them until you discover that one weakness that will ultimately unravel the human race. Unfortunately for you, the only weakness you've discovered so far is Chipotle.
Screw diplomacy! You have full confidence that your army is the biggest, most badass force in the Universe! Your preferred method of first contact is absolute destruction, wiping out anything that dares to step in your way! Guns blazing, machines moving, saucers saucing–there's nothing that could possible put an end to your intergalactic conquest! Except maybe Jeff Goldblum.
It's a tough life for a martian like you. Here you are, a superior being from a civilization that's solved all the problems in the Universe, you're just trying to spread some love. But every time you show up, the locals start freaking out! They'll shoot at you, put you in a glass tube filled with jelly, and poke you with all sorts of weird pointy things. You know what!? These humans can figure out global warming for themselves! You've had enough of this!
w00p w00p w00p w00p!
Light a candle. Put on some Barry White. And get it on with the human race!! You have one goal in your ultimate plan to invade Earth and that's to breed with as many human beings as possible. Your plan is to create a whole generation of hybrid alien babies that'll pop out of their momma's bellies like a jack-in-the-box on steroids. Of course, dating on Earth is super hard and everybody seems to keep swiping left on your Tinder profile. Must be the reptilian skin.