Best Messages On Dirty Windows

When your car is in need of a wash, it’s not uncommon to walk out of the grocery store to some kids writing things on the dirty windows. Since you didn’t care to wash your car before, maybe having an embarrassing message written on your window will be what it takes to get you to stop at that carwash you drive past every single day.

8. The Classic “Wash Me!”

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Almost everyone has written this on someone’s dirty car or had it written on their dirty car windows before. This is a sure sign that your car could use a wash and even though this saying isn’t over-the-top funny or original, it’ll still motivate you to make the car wash your next pit stop. You don’t want to look like one of those moms in Utah with a really dirty van and too many children to care about it.

7. “Redneck Window Tint!”

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You might be a redneck if...you use dirt as tint instead of actual tint on your car. The nice part about actually washing your dirty windows is that you may find out you don’t need to repair your window like you thought — it was just dirt that kept you from seeing where you were driving.

6. “Talk Dirty To Me”

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Thanks, Jason Derulo, for allowing someone super funny to write this on my window. I’m sure they would have never thought to write something this funny on my car without the aid of your genius song lyrics. Let me just go repair my street cred and remove these lyrics from my car pronto.

5. “Dirtier Than 50 Shades Of Grey”

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If you’ve read the Fifty Shades Of Grey books, you’ll know just how dirty this car’s window must be. While this joke may not go over so well in Utah, maybe try it on your friend next time their car could use a wash. It’ll get a good laugh and their car will finally get washed and you won’t be embarrassed to get in it next time.

4. “Washed By Stevie Wonder”

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Poor Stevie, he just wasn’t given the right tools to clean cars. Luckily, he’s just here to clean your window, not repair it. That would probably go over about as well as his window cleaning does, not at all. Stevie must have missed a spot, or two or three, when you asked him to wash your car.

3. “If Only My Wife Was This Dirty” — Followed By “She Is”

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I guess if your car is this dirty, you’re wishing your wife were as well. Good news, according to some jokester, she is. If your wife drives a minivan around Utah with stickers representing all of her eight children on her back window, she might be that dirty. But even if she’s not, wash your car. You don’t want to have to repair your relationship later when your wife sees what people wrote.

2. “When I’m Clean, I’m a Porsche”

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I’m sure that when your car is clean, it somehow magically transforms from a Volkswagen SUV to a Porsche. This probably only happens to you if you really do just have a really, really dirty Porsche and people can’t recognize it. And if that’s the case, find the nearest car wash.

1. “When The Car Has Been Washed, You Have My Permission To Drive”

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Well thanks, Bane, for the permission to drive my own car. If you’re a Batman fan, having this written on your car is probably something you would enjoy, although you should still wash your car. This window writing is best done with a picture of Bane as well, just in case nobody gets your really good joke.

Rachel Wood writes for Fusion 360, an advertising agency in Utah. She writes for Diamond Glass and many other clients.