1. When you pretend to watch a video they shared and just reply back "OMG hahahaha!"
2. When they look below average in a group pic, but you Instagram it anyway.
3. When you convince them to ditch the gym and get drinks after work instead.
*in the middle of work out* *friend calls me* Friend: hey lets go get mimosas Me: okay *drops weight and walks out*
Getting drinks > working out.
4. Then convince them to ruin their diet by getting the mac 'n' cheese AND nachos.
5. When you tell them you'll be there in 10 minutes, but you still need to shower, get ready, and contemplate life.
when your friend says they'll be there in 5 minutes and asks if you're ready
Everyone knows 10 minutes is really one hour.
6. When you make weekend plans with them on Tuesday but bail last minute because you "have to celebrate your dog's birthday."
Friend: "wanna hangout tonight?" Me: "can't, sorry" Friend: "why?" Me: "It's my dog's birthday."
It's a valid excuse until it's your dog's fifth birthday of the year. That's dog years right?
7. When you're tired of listening to their playlist, so you ask to play just one song... then never return the aux cord again.
8. When they're taking forever to get ready, so you tell them they look Beyoncé-level.
9. When you're three margs deep and dare them to text "Tinder Date Brad."
10. Or, when you lie to them about seeing "Josh from Bumble" after he ghosted you.
11. When you're both poor and behind on rent, but you help them justify their totally ~necessary~ purchase.
12. When they do something socially awkward and painfully embarrassing, but you tell them it wasn't thaaat bad.
13. When they lose their wallet, phone, and dignity because you made them take that extra shot with you.
14. When you talk them out of waiting in line for drunk food at 3 a.m. because you just want to get in your damn bed.
15. When you offer to help them reorganize their room, closet, and life, but end up just roasting them instead.
16. When you run out first to your Uber knowing damn well that the last one in has to sit shotgun.
No one really enjoys making uncomfortable small talk with the Uber driver.
17. When you forget to respond to their text and suddenly remember approximately 17 days later.
Adult friendship is saying “let me call you back” hanging up and calling back 3-4 days later and no one takes it personal.
I didn't forget about you, I just forgot about you.
18. When they ask which shade of lipstick to buy and you pick the one that looks better on you because you know you're going to steal it.
19. When you borrow clothes from them with no real intention to return them...ever.
20. When you promise to binge-watch that new show together, but secretly watch it without them.
If we start watching a Netflix series together you can't watch it when I'm not around. Those are the rules
"Netflix automatically played the next episode! I didn't even realize until it was almost over."
21. Finally, when you don't want to share your food so you pretend to be ~coming down with something~.
