1. When you want to be the kind of guy who walks around with oral sex jokes on a hoodie.
2. When you want to be the kind of guy who wears vegetable-based oral sex jokes on a jumper.
3. When you want to look like a prick, and you like puns.
4. When you want to give the vibe that you might be a paedophile.
5. When you want everyone to know just how superior you are.
6. When you're desperate to make a cock joke and you don't care much for aesthetics.
7. When you want to imply that a woman having sex makes her the opposite of good.
8. When you want to show everyone you meet the mythical North Pole strip club, where elves pay with dominoes??
9. When Christmas jumpers are just too mainstream and you want to stick it to the man.
10. When you want to give children nightmares.
Mery Chistmass!
11. When you want everyone to know you take coke.
12. When it's Christmas, but you still need to tell the whole world you smoke weed.
13. When you can't even be bothered to make a joke based around your shit pun.
14. When you want everyone at the office party to know you have big testicles.
15. When you don't know how to horizontally flip an image.
16. When you want everyone to know how wild you get after a couple of G&Ts.
17. When you really want to sexualise Father Christmas.
18. When you want to get your Uncle Keith on to the subject of multiculturalism before lunch this year.
19. When you'd probably wear a screen around your neck playing porn if you could.
20. When you want to have sex with Christmas?
