1.
I am at karaoke - there is a karaoke version of The Simpsons theme and the only words are "The Simpsons..." then it… https://t.co/int3UuisZw
2.
3.
Wait - does Madonna actually sleep on pillows printed with pages from the @guardian, including a huge photo of Geor… https://t.co/boR71BZZpy
4.
These have got to be the two dumbest people alive
5.
Not really how I imagined the second coming
6.
asked groomer to shave a heart on my dogs butt... what I expected vs what I got
7.
he was ahead of his time
8.
so my dad gave the squirrels christmas presents
9.
who is she
10.
why does Amanda bynes in she's the man look like every millennial trump voter?
11.
who is cyber bullying my son
12.
as if the school uploaded a pic of me writin with a cheese string
13.
how it feels to listen to podcasts
14.
Told the kids Carpet World was a theme park. They loved it
15.
Not everyday you get to meet the fella off the fivers..
16.
Today I saw the messiah of hamsters
17.
18.
My stupid ass brung the real butter instead of my lunch 😒😒😠😠😡😡 I'm hungryyyy, I need some real Tupperware 😂😭
19.
I did my 6 year old nieces makeup...then let her do mine....
20.
My friend's teenagers got drunk and named the fish on her wallpaper. Highlights include Kylie Minnow and Whoopi Gol… https://t.co/0ERKaztDRD
21.
To stop Bert's long ears collecting snow, we've popped an oven glove over them. As you can see, he's thrilled.
22.
The answer I was lookin for x
23.
