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    Posted on Oct 1, 2015

    12 Types Of Drunk Friend Everyone Knows

    And if you can't think of someone, then that's you.


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    The banter enforcer really, really wants everyone to be having fun. And having fun means drinking as much as possible and doing stupid shit. The banter enforcer does not accept any excuse for "a quiet one".


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    The drunker the denier gets, the more sober they think they are. They don't take kindly to being offered glasses of water, and will resist any attempt made to get them to go home, but they are often very apologetic in the morning.


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    The human rubbish bin is usually found sneaking out of a club early, or rummaging through the fridge at a party, because when they get drunk all they want to do is eat. They often have the ability to find an open takeaway at any time of the day or night.


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    The horn only has one thing on their mind after they've been drinking: sex. Clubs to them are not places to dance with your friends, merely human breeding grounds to find a potential mate for the night. The horn has probably made some regrettable choices, and slept with most of their friends, but nothing seems to stop their quest for a night of passion.


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    The romantic seems to be in love with a new person pretty much every time you get drunk with them – but not a happy love, a deep painful love. They will spend the night telling you all the details of their brief affair and plotting ways to get their new love to join your night out, but it never seems to work out.


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    The self-destructor is the banter enforcer's best drinking mate. They will do anything for a good time, and seem to lose any decision-making abilities after one glass of wine. They'll say "Please don't let me call my ex tonight" but you know that you are powerless compared with the self-destructor's urge to have a total mare.


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    The DMC (deep meaningful chat) will never be found on the dance floor. They'll be in the smoking area, or the toilet, or one of the upstairs bedrooms, comforting a crying person, or in the middle of a deep analysis of their own love life. They often create more drama than they actually solve.


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    The subtle vommer will disappear just as you're about to leave the pre-drinks, only to return just when everyone thinks they've done a runner. It won't be until the next morning that you find out they'd already chundered before you'd had your first shot.


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    The adult baby does not know their limits. The friendship group will have agreed a babysitter for the adult baby before the night has even begun. Possibly the worst type of drunk – most people grow out of their adult baby phase, but every so often everyone forgets and needs a babysitter for the night.


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    The waterworks is the weepiest drunk. Often found being comforted by the DMC, the waterworks can cry at anything. They will cry when they're happy and they'll cry when they're sad. There's nothing you can do to stop them, but chicken nuggets tend to help.


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    The new best friend will go for a wee and come out with a whole new squad. Capable of talking to anyone when drunk, the new best friend can be the life and soul of the party – but is also often too kind when drunk, and can bring an unwanted horn into a circle by accident, who then follows you around for the whole night.


    Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

    The wanderer is the most mysterious of drunks. One minute you're all having a lovely time and the next minute they're gone. Often absent for whole nights out, only for you to bump into them in the takeaway on the way home. Even though nobody knows exactly what the wanderer gets up to, it's pretty much guaranteed they will have had the wildest night out.

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