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21 Things You'll Understand If You Don't Enjoy Clubbing

"Yes, please take my money so I can hang out in this noisy, sweaty room full of strangers."

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1. It's always too loud to hear what anyone is saying.

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You like your friends, that's why they're your friends. You like talking to them, sharing conversations and jokes. So why would you spend time with them in a place where doing so is near impossible?

3. Everything happens very late at night.


Most of these places don't open until 10pm, and then they don't get good until midnight, and that's just the lame ones. The really ~cool~ ones don't get going until like 2am, which is well past anyone sensible's bedtime.


5. You usually have to pay to go in.


And you don't even know if you'll like it when you get in. You often don't know how many people will be inside, what music there will be, and if it will smell bad, but you have to pay anyway.

7. When you get inside the drinks are usually ridiculously overpriced.


Or there'll be a deal on sambuca shots that is the only affordable thing in the club, so you'll end up doing sambuca shots, and that can only end badly.


13. Strangers will come on to you.


It's dark so you can't really tell what anyone looks like, which means everyone suddenly wants to make out with each other. And as it's too loud to hear what anyone is saying, they will communicate their desire with creepy dance moves.


19. You can dance and get drunk at home!

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Buy some reasonably priced alcohol from your local supermarket. Invest in some speakers, and there you go. You have your own club! And you can even order pizza.

20. If you like other people you can even invite friends over to your house.

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Then you have a house party, and house parties are better than clubs in every single way. You can choose the music, you can buy cheap drinks, you don't have to pay, you can have a quiet room with soft seating. YOU CAN HAVE SNACKS.