1. If you have a cat you don't need an alarm clock.
2. Cats really don't like it when you put objects too near the edge of a surface.
3. Cats like to be where the action is.
As soon as you try to do something your cat will need to supervise. Favourite cat activities include wrapping presents, playing board games, and folding sheets.
4. Cats feel no guilt or shame.
5. Cats love boxes more than cats love you.
6. Cats love laptops or anything else you're trying to look at.
7. Cats sometimes like it when you stroke them, but then suddenly they won't like it and they will tell you.
8. Cats don't see feet as part of a human, but as a separate creature that they must kill.
9. Cats hate closed doors.
10. You will always love your cat, more than your cat loves you.
11. In fact if your cat was any bigger he probably would have killed you by now.
12. You can never be sure if your cat is asking for a belly rub or is about to bite your hand off.
13. Cats have no sense of privacy or personal space.
14. When a cat chooses to sit on you, you can't move for any reason.
15. Your cat will always want to sit on your when you're just about to get up, and will never want to sit on you when you're a bit cold and could do with a cuddle.
16. Most of the time cats sit on you, they will give you the arse end.
17. Cats may hate you, but they are stupid and most of them need our help for basic survival.
18. You just have to accept that your cat's butt has touched every surface in your house and everything you own will forever be covered in cat hair.
19. Even though cats are the most annoying creatures in the world, they are also the most loveable.
