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    Posted on Feb 27, 2016

    19 Things You'll Only Understand If You Have A Cat

    It is the law that cats will only sit on you when you need to pee.

    1. If you have a cat you don't need an alarm clock.

    Cats are mystical beings, connected to the natural world in ways we can't understand. They rise with the sun... or just before the sun, or whenever they damn well please, which is usually about 5am.

    2. Cats really don't like it when you put objects too near the edge of a surface.

    And they will knock it off while staring you down.

    3. Cats like to be where the action is.

    As soon as you try to do something your cat will need to supervise. Favourite cat activities include wrapping presents, playing board games, and folding sheets.

    4. Cats feel no guilt or shame.

    Cats were put on this earth to fuck shit up, and when they accomplish that, they're proud.

    5. Cats love boxes more than cats love you.

    Whatever present you buy for your cat they will always prefer the box.

    6. Cats love laptops or anything else you're trying to look at.

    In the olden days before cats loved laptops, cats loved newspapers.

    7. Cats sometimes like it when you stroke them, but then suddenly they won't like it and they will tell you.

    Or sometimes you're not even sure what you've done wrong, but they will tell you.

    8. Cats don't see feet as part of a human, but as a separate creature that they must kill.

    Twitter: @Jessemac74

    Even through the covers they must destroy the evil feet.

    9. Cats hate closed doors.

    Twitter: @JaredsCaliBabe

    When god told cats that when he closes a door, he always opens a window, cat's took that very literally. And now cats are in a constant state of disappointment at every closed door and window in the world.

    10. You will always love your cat, more than your cat loves you.

    Cat's only really love boxes and food.

    11. In fact if your cat was any bigger he probably would have killed you by now.

    If they grow opposable thumbs we're doomed.

    12. You can never be sure if your cat is asking for a belly rub or is about to bite your hand off.

    But there bellies are just so cute and fluffy and soft and warm, that it is totally worth the risk.

    13. Cats have no sense of privacy or personal space.

    Twitter: @FloPerry

    Everything belongs to cats.

    14. When a cat chooses to sit on you, you can't move for any reason.

    Twitter: @MELLETMAGIC

    It is an honour and you must wait for the cat to decide to move.

    15. Your cat will always want to sit on your when you're just about to get up, and will never want to sit on you when you're a bit cold and could do with a cuddle.

    That's cat's law.

    16. Most of the time cats sit on you, they will give you the arse end.

    17. Cats may hate you, but they are stupid and most of them need our help for basic survival.

    They will never learn to open a tin.

    18. You just have to accept that your cat's butt has touched every surface in your house and everything you own will forever be covered in cat hair.

    Lint rollers can only do so much.

    19. Even though cats are the most annoying creatures in the world, they are also the most loveable.

    And you would forgive them pretty much anything. <3

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