back to top

23 Things That Happened At Every British Teenage House Party

Everyone knows that Blue WKD isn't just blue on the way in.

Posted on

1. There were three types of teenage house party: Either it happened because someone's parents decided to go on holiday without them.

Walt Disney

2. Or the parents kindly went out to dinner so the kids could have some harmless fun.

FOX

When they came back and realised their house looked like a budget episode of Skins they either ran upstairs and started praying, or would desperately try to persuade all the teenagers to leave their house.

3. Or the parents were just hiding upstairs the whole time.

CBS

And someone would walk in on them when they were looking for a room to have sex in.

4. If the parents knew the party was happening, they might have been kind enough to provide a modest selection of alcopops.

They would also provide some snacks that no one really cared about.
Flickr: cute-is-what-i-aim-for

They would also provide some snacks that no one really cared about.

5. When you were younger, a few alcopops were all you could ever want in the world.

memecenter.com

They gave you just enough courage to suggest playing Spin the Bottle.

6. But when you hit your late teens you wanted something more exciting.

So you obviously went for Glen's: "The exciting vodka".
Flickr: brapps Creative Commons

So you obviously went for Glen's: "The exciting vodka".

7. You'd buy your Glen's from the corner shop that would serve literally anyone.

The people who owned it were either very old and a bit blind, or they just didn't give a shit as long as you paid them.
E4

The people who owned it were either very old and a bit blind, or they just didn't give a shit as long as you paid them.

8. You'd pre-mix your Glen's before you got to the party and then swig it out of a two-litre lemonade bottle all night to stop anyone nicking your alcohol.

instagram.com

9. Or if you were on a budget you'd go for the cider "sharing bottle" option.

Or the reliably horrible cans of K cider.
Flickr: drinksmachine / Creative Commons

Or the reliably horrible cans of K cider.

10. When people started running out of alcohol they would start raiding the parents' drinks cabinet.

It's sad because you'd definitely appreciate that 1998 Glenlivet more now.
Flickr: mssarakelly

It's sad because you'd definitely appreciate that 1998 Glenlivet more now.

11. After everyone got drunk it would suddenly become "bants" to eat the weirdest food in the host's fridge.

"OMG, Craig just ate a raw potato covered in hot sauce. What a massive lad!"
Flickr: littledragon

"OMG, Craig just ate a raw potato covered in hot sauce. What a massive lad!"

12. Someone would insist on taking hundreds of pictures.

They probably got a digital camera for their 16th birthday. You still hate this person today.
Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

They probably got a digital camera for their 16th birthday. You still hate this person today.

13. There was always one person who insisted on playing drinking games and was very militant about the rules.

Flickr: joshuawillis / Creative Commons

14. You could never actually hear the music you were dancing to, because no one ever owned good enough speakers.

Echo Bridge Entertainment

But you would try your best anyway.

15. Because teenage relationships usually only last about five weeks, there would probably be a breakup at the party.

E4

16. And about five other couples would form, usually involving the people who just broke up.

Skins.

17. Which meant upstairs bedrooms were hot property.

FOX

18. And one couple would lock themselves in a bathroom, and then all the boys would pee in the garden.

19. By Monday morning the whole school would know exactly who got with who.

E4

And in which room of the house.

20. At least one person wouldn't be able to handle all their WKDs, and if stuff got really bad their mum would have to pick them up.

Paramount Pictures

There would be a lot of debate about whether the person could just be put to bed, or if their mum had to be called.

21. If you were lucky you went to one properly wild house party in your whole adolescence, and the police probably turned up at half one.

E4

There was always one kid who didn't listen to the warnings about putting your party on social media. After that party their parents never left them home alone again.

22. Everything else was a larger gathering.

senaaahoran.tumblr.com

Sometimes called a "kotch".

23. But it was still the most fun you had before you turned 18.

E4