1. Before you start pre-drinking you'll go to the supermarket to buy lots of own-brand alcohol.
2. If you go for Basics vodka or gin you'll also pick up some quality mixers.
3. You'll definitely start drinking while you're getting ready.
4. Before you start the night out properly you will have a little photoshoot while you actually look your best.
5. You'll then go to someone's flat to predrink/prink/prelash and they will have tidied up, but only a bit.
6. Once more than five people have arrived someone will suggest drinking games.
7. Someone will try and explain a complicated new one for a bit before everyone gets bored and you just play Ring of Fire.
8. Someone will put Bailey's (or knock-off Bailey's) in the king cup and it will look like sick.
9. When people are sufficiently drunk from Ring of Fire, someone will suggest playing Never Have I Ever.
10. At like half ten the cool, late people will turn up and suddenly there's too many people to sit down so you have to stop playing games.
11. There will be an argument about whether to go to the club for free entry before 11 or to prelash for longer.
12. If you're at a uni where you have to get taxis to go out, getting in the taxis will be absolute mayhem.
When the taxis coming in 10 minutes and you're not ready
You'll always order the wrong number of taxis, one taxi will arrive much later than all the others, everyone will suddenly need to pee exactly when the taxis arrive, and no one will have change to pay with.
13. As soon as you get to the club it will become obvious that your group has halved.
When you lose your best friend in a club but she's really chill about it
Some people bailed, some people will have gone to a different club, and some people will have just plain vanished.
14. Before you can order a nice, normal drink someone will shout "strrrraaawwwwpeeeedos".
15. Someone will see one of their seminar tutors.
can't believe I saw my seminar tutor at a gay club last night, seminar at 2 won't be awkward or anything
If they are hot they will debate whether to try and pull them or not.
16. After midnight all the single people start thinking about snogging.
17. And you will lose yet more people.
Standard 'I've lost my friends in the club' messages
Some you will lose because they have pulled, and some will just disappear into the drunken abyss.
18. All the couples will leave before 2am.
19. There will be a group of lads in fancy dress.
20. There will also be a load of people with neon paint on their face.
21. At about this time someone will think it's a great idea to get Jäegerbombs.
22. You'll find some of the friends you lost before having a deep meaningful chat in the smoking area.
23. Suddenly all the lights will go on and everyone will look really ugly.
