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24 Things That Happen On Every Uni Night Out

Basics vodka and squash followed by Jäegerbombs.

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2. If you go for Basics vodka or gin you'll also pick up some quality mixers.

4. Before you start the night out properly you will have a little photoshoot while you actually look your best.

Instagram: @jadiemarie

The background will never be glamorous.


5. You'll then go to someone's flat to predrink/prink/prelash and they will have tidied up, but only a bit.

Instagram: @sarahcatherine_ox

Someone will have done most of the washing up.

7. Someone will try and explain a complicated new one for a bit before everyone gets bored and you just play Ring of Fire.

Instagram: @rbkphl

It will be called something like Pyramid of Death, Triangle of Torture, or Diamond of Destruction.


9. When people are sufficiently drunk from Ring of Fire, someone will suggest playing Never Have I Ever.

Instagram: @catherinelindsley

The first three will be like, "never have I ever been to Thailand" or "never have I ever done a bungee jump" and then it will get to a drunk person and they'll say, "never have I ever given a blow job to Micky in the Union bar toilets, looking at you Rachel." And it will actually be fun.

10. At like half ten the cool, late people will turn up and suddenly there's too many people to sit down so you have to stop playing games.

Instagram: @julzl_dance

11. There will be an argument about whether to go to the club for free entry before 11 or to prelash for longer.

Instagram: @travelgrlbaha

Some people will argue that you save money if you prelash for longer because you spend less on drinks, but the really broke students who are planning on sneaking in booze anyway know the truth.

12. If you're at a uni where you have to get taxis to go out, getting in the taxis will be absolute mayhem.

When the taxis coming in 10 minutes and you're not ready

You'll always order the wrong number of taxis, one taxi will arrive much later than all the others, everyone will suddenly need to pee exactly when the taxis arrive, and no one will have change to pay with.


13. As soon as you get to the club it will become obvious that your group has halved.

When you lose your best friend in a club but she's really chill about it

Some people bailed, some people will have gone to a different club, and some people will have just plain vanished.

15. Someone will see one of their seminar tutors.

can't believe I saw my seminar tutor at a gay club last night, seminar at 2 won't be awkward or anything

If they are hot they will debate whether to try and pull them or not.

16. After midnight all the single people start thinking about snogging.

Instagram: @ewenspencer

If they have a crush they will text them now.


17. And you will lose yet more people.

Standard 'I've lost my friends in the club' messages

Some you will lose because they have pulled, and some will just disappear into the drunken abyss.

19. There will be a group of lads in fancy dress.

Instagram: @peterinsutton

They will be very raucous and will probably still be playing a complicated drinking game.

20. There will also be a load of people with neon paint on their face.

Probably some dots over one eye and under the other.


21. At about this time someone will think it's a great idea to get Jäegerbombs.

Instagram: @stephspudic

And everyone will either be wasted already so they'll obviously say yes, or will be getting a bit sleepy, so will have one for the pump.

22. You'll find some of the friends you lost before having a deep meaningful chat in the smoking area.

Paramount Pictures

You'll also see some of your other friends snogging in the corner of the smoking area.

24. And then it's a race to get to the local chippy before there's a massive queue.

Instagram: @itsmejoshwalton

Definitely the best bit of the night.