1. Before you started couch to 5K you never saw yourself as a runner.
I'm starting couch to 5k on Monday because, apparently, I hate myself. 🙃
2. You probably didn't have any of the gear that other "running people" have.
3. When you read the plan for week one you were relieved, it didn't look that bad.
4. You then realise that you're actually doing more walking than running, so really you've become a walker not a runner.
5. You avoid reading ahead because you cannot imagine a world where you'll be able to run for 20 minutes without stopping.
About to make a start on week five of Couch to 5k in about 45 minutes. Shit would appear to be getting ever so slightly real this week.
Week 5 is so far in the future, it's like another lifetime.
6. You're completely baffled by how easy other people make it look.
7. Everytime you do find another runner who's as slow as you, you lose them when it's time for you to walk again.
8. If you use the NHS podcasts you also have mixed feelings about the strange stock music they use.
The music in that NHS 'couch to 5k' podcast is truly awful. It's enough to put me back on the couch.
Woooo w2d1 done! At this point my biggest obstacle is coping with the awful "inspirational" nhs running music. #couchto5k
Don't lie: "I'm A King, Baby" is an absolute banger.
9. You have a very complicated relationship with the person in your ear who tells you when to run and when to walk.
'COME ON TAE FUCK LAURA' I find myself shouting in desperation at the helpful woman that narrates the couch to 5k podcast
On the one hand they've been there for you since the beginning and you love them. On the other hand you hate them because they make you run.
10. Just when you're feeling confident week four comes along and puts you back in your place.
11. By week five you've probably realised that your legs do not like running.
12. At the end of week five you are actually really proud of yourself. You're like an actual person who runs now.
13. You start to look back nostalgically on weeks one to three, what a different time in your life.
14. After week six you start to get really bored.
15. You've probably committed a bit and bought some kit now.
16. Then one run, probably even before week nine, you just do it, you run 5K.
17. But what next? Will you keep doing this for the rest of your life.
18. And you still have no idea how everyone else makes it look so easy.
