1.
Real men smell of metal, and ~control~.
2.
But if you can't smell of any of the manly metals you have to smell like the next-manliest element: carbon.
3.
Real men don't shower for 96 hours.
4.
Real men smell like the force of a team.
5.
Real men smell like words that you vaguely associate with sports and movement.
6.
Real men only smell like one colour: black.
7.
Even French men like to smell like manly black.
8.
All the other colours are too girly.
9.
Real men should smell like muscles.
10.
Real men smell like unstable political movements.
11.
Because real men have to smell like real men even if they choose to shave their armpits.
12.
Real men smell like football clubs.
13.
Even realer men smell like whole international football tournaments.
14.
Real men smell like heterosexuality.
15.
Real men just smell like meat.
16.
Real men smell like dogs.
17.
Real men smell like a movie channel and girl's name...wait.
18.
Real men smell like a state – a state that contains a lot of salmon.
19.
Real men like to smell like whole continents.
20.
Real men smell like Mexican-themed beers.
21.
Because real men can smell like anything.
