14 Gym Fails That Will Make You Cringe And Vom
Turns out a lot of people shit themselves at the gym.
2. The faulty fountain:
Something unfortunately backed up in my gym’s pipes. This resulted in sewage shooting out of the mouthpiece of the water fountain and on to the gym floor. A fellow gymgoer was so disgusted by the smell that she instantly threw up, adding to the mess. That gym didn’t smell right for weeks and I’ll never use the water fountain again.
3. The smelly shower:
I was a trainer at a 24-hour Super Sport. We had a family bathroom. People would abuse it constantly, either having sex in there, drinking beer and leaving it behind, I’d find Anavar or Clen bottles on the floor, people would even dye their hair and leave dye everywhere. However, the worst thing I have ever seen was someone’s pile of poop just sitting in the shower and in the trash can. It smelled so bad and it was so runny. Just. All. Over. The. Shower. Floor. Not even near the drain.
5. The trippy treadmill:
Shortly after getting a membership at my gym, I fell off the treadmill while adjusting my earbuds, and was thrown into the machine behind me. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, a few weeks later I fell off the treadmill AGAIN, this time due to tripping on my (much-too-long) shoelaces. I discovered I had badly gashed open my elbow, and as I hurried to get a med-kit, I left a trail of blood all the way from the treadmill to the front desk. In the end I wound up getting three stitches. So I guess you could say literal blood, sweat, and tears is what it’s taken for me to get more fit.
6. The flossing fella:
I worked at a gym in college. While walking through the men’s locker room, I was stopped by a patron. He started to berate me while wearing a towel. He then took the towel off, and began to “floss”, all while maintaining eye contact.
7. The foolish friend:
So when I was 13 and new at the whole gym thing, I thought I’d go on my own. So I’m there on a treadmill – running – and I see my friend come into the gym via the mirrors in front of me and I for some reason, TURN AROUND on a MOVING treadmill to say hi. I literally did a flip and went flying across the room. Never again.
8. The suspicious sound:
Here’s to hoping everyone wears headphones at the gym and listens to them at an extremely loud volume. I had just finished doing my cardio workout of the day and switched to legs and abs. Went to a bench to do bench leg lifts and as soon as I lifted my legs in the air and had my arms behind my head, my abs clenched and I queefed so loud and it rumbled... I could hear it through my own headphones. I did not want to look around to see who heard so I quickly got up and went to a different area of the gym. My plan is to stay away for a week so that if anyone heard, it will be forgotten about.
10. The most determined diarrhea:
I worked for Planet Fitness for almost 10 years in their corporate office. One day I received a phone call from one of the club managers stating a woman in her mid-sixties was running full speed on a treadmill...while shitting out her shorts. It was splattering down her legs and off the belt of the machine onto the wall behind her. She gave literally zero fucks. She wouldn’t acknowledge a single person trying to get her attention. Finally the police were called and she was escorted out, and returned later with the police trying to have the manager arrested for kicking her out (didn’t work out in her favor). At least I got to watch it all go down on the security cameras!
11. The flaccid first-timer:
I was working out for the first time in months at my university’s rec center and my ridiculously fit best friend was training me. He had me do 50 crunches and 50 sit-ups on an incline table. After finishing, I couldn’t do even one more so I slid backwards off the table and flopped onto the gym floor. This super buff guy saw the entire fiasco and dropped his weights to hysterically laugh at me. I was even more mortified when I discovered the next day that he was in my econ class.
12. The FaceTiming fitness fanatic:
I go to a relatively nice gym, so I didn’t expect to run into anything too strange. It was a very wrong assumption. I went once and as I was stretching, a woman was FaceTiming on her phone, so I ignored it even though it was very distracting and loud. Suddenly she starts saying “Who’s a good boy? You are such a good baby, yes honey!” Maybe a baby? Her child? Even maybe her husband? Nope. It was her dog at home.
13. The emotional exerciser:
I was running on the machines and the gym TV began playing one of my favourite bands on the music channel, but it was one of their more unheard songs so I began to freak out with joy. I stopped running and screamed “Paramore!!” then fell backwards off the treadmill, landed on my ass, and my open water bottle poured all over my lap. I’d messed up in front of about 30 people and it looked like I’d urinated myself. Never again.
14. The sticky situation:
The strap on my favorite water bottle broke, so I superglued it back together and all was well. Then I went to the ab cruncher machine that was by the free weights, where all the “bros” work out. My water bottle broke again and I unknowingly got superglue all over my hands. A bro walks over and asks if I’m done with the machine and that’s when I realized I had superglued myself to the ab cruncher machine. I lied and told him I had one more set to do. And then had to tear my hands away from the machine. Not fun.