1. Bitchy people can't help but judge.
Our mind is not pure, we can't help it.
2. So when a bitchy person chooses you as their number one, you know you are probably 100% perfect.
It's true.
3. Bitching is the most fun, especially when you're doing it with a particularly talented bitcher.
Bitchy people are good at metaphors.
4. Being a bitch's S.O. also makes you their number one go-to bitching buddy, which is a constant source of entertainment.
5. And it means you'll always have something to talk about on the way home from every party.
Even if it was the most perfect night, a real bitchy person will have found something to comment on.
6. Bitchy people always have a way of finding out the most scandalous gossip.
Gossip to take your breath away.
7. And they will always make sure to tell you everything they know.
8. If they have any kind of juicy conversation, or if they see any cringe Facebook updates, they will definitely screenshot it and send it to you.
Warning: If you do this on Snapchat, even if it's just on the chat bit, the other person gets a notification. Learn from me.
9. Bitchy people are the absolute best at cancelling plans.
They'll always think of the perfect excuse, and then steal your phone and press send.
10. And they'll always find a way to not invite that person you both find annoying, who you really should probably invite.
They'll find out when their sister's getting married and purposefully arrange all the plans to be on that day.
11. If you ever want to get something off your chest, you know your bitchy S.O. will be ready and waiting with open ears.
Any excuse to have a good bitch.
12. If anything annoying happens to you at work, they'll really care and be properly annoyed with you.
Bitchy people don't believe there's two sides to every story.
13. And if you ever need them to hold a grudge for you, they'll do it better than anyone.
It's a good life skill.
14. If you want to find anything out about anyone they are definitely the best Facebook stalkers around.
15. But you should probably be aware of their back-stalking ability.
And they probably saw every photo of you from 2009 before you even went on your first date.
16. Bitchy people will always be up for playing "fuck, marry, kill", rating people out of 10, and playing "what would you change if you were them?"
Which makes long car journeys go much quicker.
17. They might pretend to be nice a lot, but when you know a bitchy person really well you'll be able to see straight through this.
So you'll always know the bitchy thoughts that lurk beneath.
18. But with you, you can always trust them to be brutally honest even if you don't really enjoy it at the time.
Because when a bitchy person actually likes you they see no problem in telling you that your outfit is kind of a mess.
19. And you know when they pay you a compliment that they're actually being genuine.
20. If you hate someone your bitchy S.O. will automatically hate them too, even if you don't really have a reason.
Even if they've never met them they'll trust your judgment.
21. And they will never, ever judge you for being too bitchy.
In fact they will encourage it.
