11 Differences That Would Happen If All Men Had Periods

“Sir Bloodalot has come to visit this week.”

1. If all men had periods they would no longer be taboo.

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2. Tampon packaging would change drastically; no longer would they be in soft blue and pink boxes.

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3. Marketers wouldn’t shy away from the idea of blood; in fact, they would embrace it.

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Oh yeah, and pads would become a lot more phallic.

4. Period pants wouldn’t just be your oldest pair of granny knickers. They would be specially designed with useful pockets and a waistband made to be displayed.

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5. There would be constant TV adverts for different types of period-pain medication, all featuring scientists.

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Good-looking manly scientists.

6. Period sex would be encouraged. Special non-staining sheets would be sold, and research on its health benefits would be commissioned.

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7. PMS would be taken very seriously, and people would be let off for minor crimes if they committed them while menstruating.

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8. No one would call it “Aunt Flow” or “that time of the month” any more – synonyms would be about WAR and CLEVER CULTURAL REFERENCES.

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Of course they would only be used to make the menstruator look more amusing or intelligent, because using them to avoid taboos would be unnecessary.

9. Men wouldn’t hide their tampons when they went to the toilet. Some men would even choose to display them in a specially designed tampon sash.

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10. If all men had periods there would probably be the Periolympics, where men would measure who could period the most.

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11. If all men had periods we would celebrate them!

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Probably using sexy ladies dressed as tampons.

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Flo Perry is an editor for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
 
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