21 Things Everyone Who's Been To Klute Just Gets
Everyone in Durham knows it was the second-worst nightclub in Europe, but the first one burnt down.
When you get to Klute it will either be empty or there will be a massive queue.
Between the months of December and February the road down to Klute is basically a vertical ice rink.
Empty Klute is a sad, sad place.
If Klute looks empty the only reasonable thing to do is to go next door to Jimmy Allen's and get pissed on Jonny Woodgates.
And then head back to Klute for a quaddie.
Or maybe a Jäger train if you're having a quiet night.
Every time you go to Klute there will be a group of people in matching T-shirts.
There will also be several people in fancy dress at all times of the year.
You can't go to Klute without getting hit on.
And you can't get off with someone without it being photographed multiple times.
Everyone has a different dirty rumour about someone doing a sex act in Klute.
You see the most random things on the dance floor.
This is an accurate picture of the upstairs Klute toilets most nights.
And these stairs are basically just a slippery death trap.
Old Klute was infinitely better than new Klute.
You haven't really graduated from Durham University unless you've brought your parents to Klute.
The only properly good thing about Klute is the smoking area.
Though it's the reason why it's so easy to lose everyone you know in Klute.
Klute playing anything other than pure cheese is just wrong.
And you can't leave Klute until you hear "That's Amore".
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