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17 Things That Would Have Been Useful To Learn In School

The quadratic equation is counted as a basic life skill, but how to leave group messages isn't?

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1. How to cancel plans and shake off friends.

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You bump into an old friend in the street. You used to see each other out of convenience, but your circumstances have changed and you haven't seen each other in months. Suddenly you blurt out "Lovely to see you, let's go for a drink sometime." How do you stop doing that?

2. But also how to become super best friends with new people.

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You meet someone at a party and they are the most fun ever. How do you become best friends with them without seeming too keen? Or is keen the new cool?

3. How to leave group messages politely.

Fox Searchlight Pictures

You were invited to a thing you couldn't go to four months ago. And everyone still uses the thread to make brunch plans every weekend. How do you subtly sneak out of the thread but still get invited to brunch occasionally?

5. How to tell if the anecdote you're about to tell is going to be boring.

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What do you do when you're halfway through telling a story and suddenly you realise it's really dull? Do you give up? Plough through and hope your audience is very polite? Or do you pepper it with lies until it's fun?

6. How to tell when someone has a massive crush on you.

Walt Disney

There should be detailed lectures on all the signals to look for. Or at least extensive workshops on building up the courage to ask someone out. And not in a creepy way.

7. How to send the perfect flirty text.

FOX

The line between flirty and creepy is thin and dangerous. There should be whole university courses devoted to how to stay on the right side of it.

12. How to network.

Channel 4.

When people say they got their job because they met someone on a train and just got chatting and exchanged business cards or something and now they're the boss of everyone. How does that happen?

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