1. First things first, you're the awkwardest:
2. No one should even ask you to talk on the phone:
3. or FaceTime:
4. And face-to-face? Well that's just painful for the both of you:
5. Before talking to people, you have to self-motivate not be awkward:
6. But then someone goes in for the high-five, and you go in for the hug:
7. It actually pains you to make eye contact with anyone:
8. You forget how to speak in coherent sentences:
9. Awkward silences theme half of your conversations:
10. So, naturally you try to make a joke to fill the silence:
11. But, your sixth sense is knowing the exact moment you've made the others feel uncomfortable:
12. You can't talk about yourself ever:
13. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, OH DO YOU OVERSHARE:
14. You feel like Ricky Bobby from "Talladega Nights" all the time:
15. "Enjoy your movie!" "You too."
16. You don't really make great first impressions:
17. Sometimes, you are not awkward at all and you feel like the social butterfly you were meant to be:
18. But other times, you start talking and forget mid-way what you were even saying:

