Reddit user TheFallenWolves asked what's the worst poop horror story you've ever experienced, and people absolutely did not hold back.
1. The miserable hot cocoa incident:
"When I was 11, my dad was working at a factory that had a hot chocolate and coffee vending machine. I decided that 27 hot chocolates in a few hours would be a good idea. Well, after 27 hot chocolates, I had to use the bathroom. Sadly, I did not make it. As I was running as fast as my little legs would take me, I pooped. It projected out of me so fast people would've thought my pants were a tap dispensing poop. It was everywhere, in my pants, my socks, my shoes, the floor. But at least my dad got the rest of the day off to take me home."—Dragon_ranger
2. The summer camp nightmare:
"I was at a summer camp where we'd ride horses daily. While on a trail ride, I had to poop. There weren't any bathrooms near us, and I wasn't about to go in the woods with the entire group of campers right there. So, I pooped myself while riding a horse. I had to sit in it for 20 minutes until we got back to the main building, where I jumped off my horse and ran to the bathroom. The best part was that the girl behind me during the ride kept saying, 'your horse is farting a lot!'" —EEVEELUVR
3. The betrayed by Chinese food mishap:
"Many years ago, I went and ate some Chinese food with a girl I was into. I grew up in a small town and we would all party on a stretch of road out in the country. I was hanging out there when it hit me. I took off and was going to go to the nearest gas station, but then a scenario of me shitting my pants in this public place started haunting me. So, I kept on driving home. I was 17 and still living with my parents. I flew into the driveway, rushed into the garage, and when I grabbed the the doorknob...I unloaded on myself. I just stood there in shock. I was wearing shorts. My little brother opened the door and looked me up and down as shit was just rolling out of me." —ColdHandSandwich
4. The road trip emergency poop pullover:
"I have two sisters and a brother, and we use to road trip to Alabama (from Indiana) on vacations. One year, we were heading back home and and my brother was like, 'oh my GOD I have to poop. RIGHT NOW!' We were are laughing it off until he started freaking out, eyes watering. Like, he was going to shit his pants soon. At that point, my dad pulled off on an exit that didn't have any public places. We had no toilet paper, so we were digging through empty McDonald's bags and throwing him all the unsoiled napkins we could find. He jumps out of the car before it fully stops and runs around to the back of some building to poop. Roughly five minutes later, he comes run-shitting around the building holding his pants and dives back into the family van. Turns out some coyotes saw him and got curious enough that they kept running up to him while he was trying to poop. To this day, he still gets travel toilet paper for Christmas." —anonymous
5. The poorly executed commute:
"I had explosive diarrhea when I was only a mile from work. My commute was over 35 miles one way. I had to turn around and head back home with a cushion of shit to sit on, which continued to erupt beneath me. I grabbed the floor mat and placed it under me and continued to shit all the way home."
6. The wasp intruder:
"When I was a little kid, I went to a public pool that only had an outdoor bathroom. I really had to poop and couldn't hold it any longer, so I ran to use it. This happened in Texas, and in the summer you'll come across wasps. Sure enough, right when I was at the point of no return, I see a wasp hovering in my stall. 'Pleasenopleasenopleasenopleaseno," I murmured, trying not to freak it out into stinging me. I see it slowly descending towards me. A little bit up, a little bit further down until it lands on my bare, pooping ass. Right when it lands, I literally whimpered like a dog. Apparently that was enough to scare the wasp away, so I quickly finished and ran out." —splendid_ssbm
7. The wedding nightmare:
"I sharted at my wedding reception 10 minutes before our first dance."
—anonymous
8. The shower accident:
"Before I took a shower, I was sitting on the toilet taking a biiiiiiig shit. Like there was a lot, but it had a clean wipe so I thought I was good to get in the shower, so I did. Next thing I know, I started to feel a disturbance in the force. I just assumed it was gas. I was under the assumption that since I had a successful shit before the shower that there was no way there could be anything more. So, I half-squatted and let it go. A whole fucking 'nother log slammed onto my shower floor and pancaked into a pile. I had no idea what do to. I wasn't gonna touch it with my hands. So, I cupped my hands together to catch the stream of water coming out of the shower head and tried to jet it at the pile of poo in hope I could wash it down the drain. It took forever, and I ended up clogging the shower drain." —punk62
9. The tornado drill interruption:
"When I was in fifth grade, I went to the bathroom with a bad case of the shits. Just then, tornado sirens start going off. About a minute later, kids start piling in the bathroom. My ass is still exploding and there's nothing I can do to stop it. The bathroom is now full of at least 50 boys and girls. It smells, it's loud, and everybody in there is pissed. I'm finally done, but I decide to stay in the stall to try and and avoid further embarrassment. But then a teacher asks me if I'm done, so I tell her yes. She tells me to come out. I walk out with my head down as everybody looked at me with disgust." —anthraxattack
10. The air-soft gun predicament:
"My friends and I were messing around with air-soft guns in his backyard. I got hit with this impending urge to poop. It was so bad that I was groaning and running away towards the bathroom. One of my friends decides to shoot me with an air-soft gun as I ran. He nailed me right in the ass, and I shit my pants instantly." —_hookerspit
11. The open seas bucket poop:
"One time I was on a guided fishing trip with my father and uncles when I had the urge to shit, like really badly. I asked the captain if there was a bucket or something I could shit in since we were in a pretty small fishing boat, and he dragged out this really dirty and crusty bucket, then handed me a roll of toilet paper. So, there I was shitting in a bucket in a boat in front of several family members. Now if that isn't awkward enough, it turns out the bucket apparently had a crack in it. Normally this wouldn't be too much of a problem I guess, but this shit was well...extra gooey, to put it lightly. It leaked out of the bucket, went all over the boat, and ended up getting all over my pants." —arrowhead820
12. The terrible laxative problem:
"I joined the wrestling team my freshman year of high school. For my first tournament, I had to lose two pounds to qualify for my weight class. My freshman logic led me to take laxatives to shit out the two pounds. I took it before school, but it didn't kick in until the bus ride home. The ride was a long and gassy one. Each fart was a literal escape of gas and a metaphorical escape of my willpower to hold back the flood. After the bus dropped me off, I sprinted towards my house. Each step I took, I let out a small fart. Sadly, I was only a couple yards away from my house when I let out what I thought was a victory fart. While it was a fart, it was wet, but there was not victory." —backattackz
13. The stairway to poop:
"The first week I started dating my boyfriend, I had been constipated for 3 days. Suddenly, I have the tummy grumbles. His bathroom is an entire floor and hallway away, and even if I make it, I DO NOT want to poop in his house. Luckily for me, my house is only 5 minutes away. I hop up, thank GOD that he’s still sleeping, and sneakily gather my things and bolt down his stairs. I’m rushing down in sandals and busted ass. Then, I ripped ass. I had shorts on, so it spilled all down my legs, all over the stairs, up my back. You name it, I had shit on it. My boyfriend hears the large commotion and stands at the top of the stairs to gaze upon the poop massacre. I want to be slaughtered, but thought it could be fine...until his mother and father (who I have not formally met yet) came out of their room and stood behind him. I was covered in shit and tears." —deadwrongdeadass
14. The retaliation fart:
"My boyfriend and I were sitting on his couch watching TV and he kept farting really smelly, gross farts. I was complaining but also making fun of him, trying to get him to pause the show and go use the bathroom. Finally, he relented and got up to go. When he was halfway up the stairs, I figured I'd fart a really loud fart to tease him. Except karma got the better of me and I sharted the wettest, grossest mess in my pants. Karma is a bitch, people." —lockportjazzshoes
15. The monster log:
"In eighth grade, my buddy was over at my house. He went to the bathroom and 20 minutes later, he comes back, freaking out, saying the toilet won't flush. It was too big. It wouldn't fit in the hole. He brought me to the bathroom to show me. It was impossibly thick. I grabbed a bunch of plastic bags and made him scoop it out of the toiled, run outside, and throw it in a ditch." —poofycow
16. The laugh-poop incident:
"When my sister and I were younger, we'd take baths together. One day, she was sitting in the bathroom while our mom made the bath. I told her something really funny — so funny that she shit on the floor from laughing so hard." —WolfgangHertter
17. The awful alleyway situation:
"When I was sixteen, my mom had left me in the car to go grab a drink. I had told her my stomach didn't feel well, but she left regardless. I was in downtown region of my city, so I figured there were plenty of bathrooms around if I needed to go. 15 minutes later, it hit me. I got out of the car, frantically looking for the nearest bathroom, but every place was closed. Now it was no longer a mission of finding a bathroom, but rather where could I poop without anyone seeing? I start to run towards the nearest alley. Poop was already coming out, streaming down my leg. Just as I approach the alley, it all comes out in an explosion of shame down my legs. I wasn't about to continue wearing my defiled jeans, so I strip down to nothing, use my shirt to clean up the damage, and call my mom to tell her I'm walking home. 14 blocks. I walked 14 blocked, completely naked in my tireless quest to get home unnoticed." —ExtraMeat
18. The traffic jam predicament:
"I had just moved in with my (then) boyfriend. We were headed to our apartment when we got trapped in traffic between two standstill trains. I danced in my seat for awhile before I realized I was not going to be able to hold it. I hopped out of the passenger seat and ran into the field that was next to the road. Boyfriend was screaming, 'What if the train moves and I have to drive away?' I promise you, there was no rational response from me as I was trying to get far away enough from the street so people in the other cars wouldn't observe what was about to happen. Found some brush, crouched down, bowels exploded. Ended up taking my shoe off to wipe with my sock." —Aprilsfool0401
