Books·Posted on Sep 22, 2016People Are Pretty Pissed About Their Patronus Results On PottermorePatroNUH-UH.by by Farrah PennBuzzFeed Junior Writer, by Nina MohanBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail In case you haven't heard, Pottermore released its official Patronus quiz today. And while many were pretty satisfied with the Patronus they were bestowed, some were definitely NOT feeling it. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Even JOSS WHEDON was not thrilled. Joss Whedon @joss Don't talk to me about nobility or tenaciousness or Ron's wonderful family - my life is OVER 08:36 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Some witches and wizards were just not about that salmon life: Marko Kloos @markokloos I got a salmon. My patronus is a SALMON. You all get cool cats and stags. I get something that poaches great with dill and lemon slices. 07:12 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite ㅤRyan @Guthbox Had to get sorted into a house before I took the patronus test... Hufflepuff with a salmon patronus I've hit a new low in life 06:06 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Charlotte @charlotte_santo Everyone is upset they didn't get a hippogriff or a thestral as their patronus but at least you didn't get a SALMON… https://t.co/WAf8XMaP4S 04:43 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Others were not so stoked on conjuring a RAT to fight off Dementors: K. Lucarelli 🙃 @KristinaLuca My patronus is a rat. Not even pizza rat. Just a regular, dirty, sewage rat. Thu Sep 22 13:14:18 UTC+0000 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Scaachi @Scaachi my patronus is a literal rat even my fictional narratives won’t let me live 02:48 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Some got an aardvark... Taylor Ortega @taylor_ortega Boss: "Hey. I need you to put some pants on. Big time." Me: "MY PATRONUS IS A FUCKING AARDVARK, KAREN. WHAT'S THE P… https://t.co/3pdqkPoIl5 02:52 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite ...and a pig... شهرزاد (◡‿◡✿) @shahrzad_h I can’t believe I waited 15 years to find out that my Patronus is a fucking pig 04:03 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite ...and even a SHREW? Remy Anne @Remy_Anne my patronus is a fucking shrew?!?!? excuse me pottermore, I did not sign up for this Thu Sep 22 19:58:57 UTC+0000 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Honestly, J.K. Rowling, please explain this. A whole lot of others did not feel hashtag blessed with a MOLE Patronus: Samantha @samurai_mouse I waited what feels like my whole life to find out that my #Patronus is a mole. WHY?! @jk_rowling Thu Sep 22 18:21:51 UTC+0000 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Scott @ScottStyleKing If I actually had a mole as a patronus I'd just let the dementors eat my soul 02:31 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite suᴉʞsoH ˙Ɔ uǝſ @jayceehoskins Me: Ooh, at last, the Patronus test! Me, five minutes later: A FRIGGIN MOLE FUQ U JKR 03:05 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite They were not happy with a duck: Helen Scott @HelenScottUK When you think your #patronus would absolutely be a unicorn 🦄 and you find out it's a duck... #ExpectoPatronum 03:53 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Nor a mouse: Olly Gibbs @ollyog You know what, the dementors can have me. This. is. a. JOKE. #ExpectoPatronum 03:49 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite And they definitely weren't about letting a squirrel fight off Dementors: Louise O' Neill @oneilllo My patronus is a red squirrel. Between this and the Hufflepuff nonsense, I guess I'll just have to accept that I'm lame AF Thu Sep 22 12:30:24 UTC+0000 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Some people have to spend a lot of time explaining what their Patronus actually is: aillah @ST0RMPlL0TS "so what's your house?" "gryffindor" "nice. what's your patronus" "a jaeger. my patronus is a jaeger. not a mole, but a JAEGER" Thu Sep 22 14:52:10 UTC+0000 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite And others believed their Patronus was a sign that the universe was out to get them: grace mohs @gracemohs thought I was having a bad morning, then pottermore told me my patronus was a "dragonfly" so I realized I'm actually just having a bad life Thu Sep 22 17:54:56 UTC+0000 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite People had to be reminded that it could be worse: über bitch @irodohieru Me: Dad my Patronus is a fucking horse Dad: But somewhere in the world someone just discovered their Patronus is a pig Me: Dad: Imagine that 04:48 PM - 22 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite Just remember, if your Patronus is garbage, you can always threaten J.K. Rowling with litigation. jay @tanoreth Literally everyone else is getting goth as fuck patronuses and im over here with a weasel im suing jk rowling Thu Sep 22 14:55:16 UTC+0000 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite