The 30 Most Important Cats Of 2015

This has been a tumultuous and difficult year for cats, but it has not been a year without cat triumph, cat perseverance, and – dare I say – cat redemption. These were the most important cats of 2015.

30. Cat Who Made This Face When Someone Meowed Back at Him

As Cat Nietzsche famously said: “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you meow long into an abyss the abyss also meows at you.”

29. Cat Who Hung Around A High School So Much That They Made Her A Student

As countless voyagers on this quest we call existence will know, the School of Life offers manifold lessons for free. The Leland High School, however, will only teach you if you have an official Leland High School ID card.

28. Full-Stack Kittens

“Whosoever keepeth their kittens in a row hath but a row of kittens. But he who keeps his kittens in a stack hath true wisdom, as well as extra storage space.”
– Old but largely unhelpful adage about kitten storage

View this embed ›

27. Cat Who Hates the Smell of Your Feet

Even the most hardened optimist will admit that 2015 has been a large, stinky foot of a year, but this cat is a reminder that those who balk at the first bad smell will never taste the sweet toes of life.

26. Malfunctioning Bubble-Wrap Cat

“At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things, we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of bubble wrap.”
– Henry David Thoreau, after meeting this cat at Walden Pond

View this embed ›

25. Cat Who Fails at Cat Doors

This world is but a doorway, and every choice you make is a doorway in that doorway. It’s all very confusing and aggravating, frankly.

24. Cat Who Ruined Dinner

“Sauce and the cat I sing, who, forced by fate
And haughty Juno’s unrelenting hate –
Insulted by a pasta in his home
Upturn’d it, for the glorious might of Rome.”
– First four lines of the Cat Aeneid

23. Cats Who Love an Ice Ball

What if the very universe is a giant ball of ice, and we are but tongues to lick it? Somewhat unlikely, I will grant you, but what if?

22. Slinky Kitten

“He who avoids the Cat Toy of Responsibility is like unto the slinky: Fun, but ultimately not very useful.”
– Utterly inane aphorism (author unknown)

View this embed ›

21. Kitten Who Copies His Mom

If ever you feel unequal to the accomplishments of your peers or elders, do not give up! Just put your hands in the air and drool on your chest and hope to God that no one notices.

View this embed ›

20. Jumping Kitten

When the Index Finger of Opportunity wiggles at you, will you be ready to grab it? No, you will hop and wave frantically at it, because that’s what our ancestors have done since time immemorial.

View this embed ›

19. Huge Mistake Cat

Could Odysseus have known what would befall his ship when he set forth for Ithaca? Could Shackleton have predicted the cruel fate of Endurance? Then neither could this cat foresee the travails awaiting her hardy craft on its brave voyage across the pool. And neither should we judge her for her adventuresome spirit.

18. iPad Yurt Cat

The true riches and wealth of life reside in the love we show each other every day. But if you also have an iPad and a yurt, so much the better.

17. Bed Protector Cat

Then out spake brave Horatius,
The Captain of the bed:
“To every cat upon this earth
A dog will rear his head.
But how can we die better
And what could be more fitting
Than standing fast and holding tight
The tiny beds we sit in.”
Horatius at the Bridge, Lord Macaulay (paraphrased)

16. Cat Who Was Foiled by a Slice of Cheese

Our dreams are tantalizingly in our reach, but we cannot grasp them unless first we grapple with the half-eaten processed cheese slice that is our own self-doubt.

View this embed ›

15. Accidental Flight Cat

2015 was a garbage year, but it was also a year in which a brave, brave, brave little girl survived an accidental flight in an open-air Skyranger plane and made it home in time for dinner, so it wasn’t a total wash.

14. Bra-Model Cat

It has often been said that Hell hath no fury like a cat who is protesting the ridiculously undersized cutout bustier you ordered from Amazon.

13. Baby-Befriending Cat

As we approach a new year and its burgeoning promise of a fresh start, can we not put aside our differences, like this cat and this baby, and appreciate that we are each, in our own way, very silly indeed?

12. Sticky-Tape Cat

“On those hard, horrible days when it feels like the whole world is laughing at you, pause for a second, take a deep breath, and then check to see if you’ve accidentally left the house with tape in your hair.”
– Just some sound, practical advice. Take it or leave it.

View this embed ›

11. Cat Unimpressed by Whoopie Cushion

“Even if we should build a whoopie cushion the size of the Earth, we would never impress the gods with anything more than the vast extent of our hubris.”
– (Still) lost fragment of Heraclitus

10. Q-Tip Balancer

There is a balance to things. A delicate, wavering balance, yes, but a balance nonetheless. For the universe itself is a balance beam, one that stretches from the twinkling point of the furthest star to the teetering q-tip at the very edge of your nose.

9. Cat Who Stops Baby From Opening Oven

This quiet hero was a shining beacon, in 2015, for the long-held but all-too-rarely stated traditional American value that babies can not, should not, and – as long as this great country stands – will not bake.

8. Cat Surprised and Disappointed by Flower Hat

If youth is the subtle promise of a green bud breaking through fresh dirt, and adolescence is the growing hope of a fresh stalk rising to the sky, then adulthood is the surprising and disappointing flower hat you have to wear when all that growing and blooming comes up against the abrupt shock of suddenly having to pay your own rent.

7. Cat Who Stole a Plush Toy From the Neighbors

“A thief can become wealthy, but he will never be rich in his heart.”
– Someone who has never met this cat

6. Thug Life Cat

The burden of free will is that all of us have within ourselves the capacity to do evil. But can we really judge those unlucky cats who hear the sweet, Siren song of the Thug Life and find themselves powerless to resist?

5. Vampire Cat

Loki the Vampire Cat was a necessary reminder in this tumultuous, morally confusing era that even the most wicked among us don’t mind an occasional snuggle.

4. Cat Tricked by Glass of Water

In this particular allegory, the glass of water is complacency and the empty paw is false hope. The cat’s expression is just what it looks like: “Now, I shall murder you.”

3. Cat Who Was Not Informed About the New Baby

“The three most important days in your life are the day you are born, the day you find out why, and the day someone remembers to tell the cat about it.”
– Early version of a quote by Mark Twain

2. Hotline Bling Cat

As a community, cats have unilaterally shunned modernity to such an extent that (with the possible exception of iPad Yurt cat), no feline has ever owned a piece of cellular technology. Despite all this, when that hotline bling, even the cats know that it can only mean one thing, and one thing only.

1. Cats Scared of Cucumbers

Although not without its joyful moments, 2015 was as full of unpleasant surprises as a carelessly placed cucumber. As rife with nasty shocks as an unexpected relative of the gourd. As riddled with bewildering bolts from the blue as an unanticipated pickle.

How fitting, then, that the number 1 most important cats this year were the cats who looked these rude and unwelcome members of the Cucurbitaceae family right in their green little eyes and said, “No thank you!”

Here’s to a 2016 completely devoid of unforeseen zucchini.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

 
  Your Reaction?
  REACT WITH GIF
 

    Contributions

    Hot Buzz

    29 Gifts For Anyone Who’s Obsessed With Makeup

    buymethat

    DNA Biohackers Sold A DIY Kit For Glowing Booze And Here’s What Happened

    Now Buzzing