Are You Ready For Your Thirties?

I am. So get the eff out of my way!

Flickr: mrsmagic / Via Creative Commons
    1. 1 You don’t put up with bullshit anymore.
    2. 2 You’ve called someone out on their bullshit.
    3. 3 You’ve ended an unhealthy relationship because you no longer put up with bullshit.
    4. 4 Your days of asking your parents for money are over.
    5. 5 You’ve moved from boxed wine to actual glass bottles.
    6. 6 You also own a set of wine glasses.
    7. 7 You own at least one piece of furniture that isn’t from Ikea.
    8. 8 You know the difference between a hookup situation and actual dating.
    9. 9 And you aren’t afraid to ask for what you want in either situation.
    10. 10 A substantial amount of weekends are dedicated to weddings, bachelorette parties, and baby showers.
    11. 11 Which means the only place you get wild on a dance floor is at a wedding.
    12. 12 You call people who are younger than you “youths” or “kids.”
    13. 13 You’ve judged a youth for being a total hot mess.
    14. 14 You remember what it was like to be a hot mess, and are grateful you’re not one anymore.
    15. 15 You don’t post passive aggressive messages on social media.
    16. 16 You’re trying to save money for your actual savings account.
    17. 17 You know what a 401k and a Roth IRA are.
    18. 18 You have one of those things.
    19. 19 You have both of those things, and talk about them regularly.
    20. 20 You care about your fitness.
    21. 21 You also care about your health and can remember the last time you had a vegetable.
    22. 22 You are genuinely flattered when you get carded at bars.
    23. 23 You feel responsible enough to own a pet.
    24. 24 Or, braver yet, you already do.
    25. 25 You’ve been to and enjoyed a wine bar.
    26. 26 You also enjoy dinner parties.
    27. 27 You’ve hosted a dinner party.
    28. 28 You own a full set of dishes and silverware.
    29. 29 You’ve had instant ramen before, you just can’t remember the last time that was.
    30. 30 You can cook at least one thing very well.
    31. 31 There is no way you would ever stay in a hostel.
    32. 32 You know what you want sexually, and it’s awesome.
    33. 33 When you drink too much now, you are hungover for DAYS.
    34. 34 And being hungover is no longer cute.
    35. 35 You no longer sweat the small stuff.
    36. 36 You give zero fucks about what anyone else thinks of you.
    37. 37 Like, seriously, your Spotify playlist is embarrassing and public and who cares.
    38. 38 You have liquor in your bar that’s more than $30 a bottle.
    39. 39 You know what your style is, and you embrace that shit.
    40. 40 You feel no shame when you dance in a humiliating way.
    41. 41 You know what you want when it comes to dating.
    42. 42 You actually ask for what you want in relationships.
    43. 43 You no longer intentionally cause drama, because you no longer have time for it.
    44. 44 You’ve made some mistakes that you’re not proud of.
    45. 45 But you can look back and know that you’ve learned from those mistakes.
    46. 46 You’re not afraid to let go of bad friends or bad relationships.
    47. 47 You feel comfortable in your own skin.
    48. 48 You feel sexier than you ever were when you were younger.
    49. 49 You don’t care about being cool anymore, because you know that you ARE cool.
    50. 50 Turning 30 doesn’t seem like a big deal, actually.
    51. 51 But you look back at your early twenties, and are grateful you’re out of those.
NBC/”30 Rock”

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