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Songs To Get You Through All 3 Stages Of Your Heartbreak Funk

I experience romantic failures much more often than I do laundry. Or cook myself dinner. Or change my pants. So I've developed the formula to OVERCOME. These aren't all the best songs in the world, but my god, they will get you through.

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Step 1: Self Pity/Wallow

Get a box of Franzia and draw yourself a bath (or slowly slide down your shower wall into a fit of tears). This is all about the wallow. Give in to your "woe is me" mentality.

The National- Sorrow

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Adele- Don't You Remember

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Bonnie Raitt- I Can't Make You Love Me

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Step 2- YOU'RE THE WORST I DON'T EVEN CARE WHATEVER I'M OVER IT

Trade in your (cheap) wine for some (cheap) whiskey. It's about to get real.

Alanis Morissette- You Oughta Know

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Justin Timberlake- Cry Me A River

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Beyonce- Irreplacable

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Step 3- I'm gonna do me.

Congratulations! You've passed the sad-sack stage AND the angry bitter stage. You're almost a functional human again! Just listen to these uplifting jams and remember YOU GOT THIS. Throw the box of wine/funnel and the bottle of 711 whiskey aside. It's time for a lighthearted cocktail.

Sara Bareilles- Gonna Get Over You

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Destiny's Child- Survivor

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Thought I couldn't breathe without you, I'm inhaling/You thought I couldn't see without you, perfect vision/You thought I couldn't last without you, but I'm lastin'/You thought that I would die without you but I'm livin'/Thought that I would fail without you but I'm on top

Jason Derulo- Ridin' Solo

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When in doubt, listen to Ignition Remix on loop.

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