Your Body Is A Wonderland Of Badass Microorganisms


    'Sup? This is a microorganism.

    Before you freak out that there is something living in you, just remember: There are, like, a billion of them living inside you.

    Which means your so-called "human" body contains more microbial genes than human genes.

    So you're actually less of a person and more of a big, fleshy bag full o' microbes.

    Yes, Michael. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

    Your body is their Earth, kinda. Elbows are like the desert, for example.

    Dry and without much life.

    And your mouth is like a frickin' rainforest.

    Moist (yeah, I said it) and teeming with life in every nook 'n' cranny.

    But don't reach for that Listerine just yet, friend. We need these little buddies!

    The hardest-working microbes are in your gut. They help digest food and synthesize vitamins.

    But all microbes have a role, and mostly that role includes keeping you alive.

    In fact, the only time you're completely microbe-free is when you're in your mother's womb.

    But thankfully you travel down a water slide of microorganisms when you leave her body, so you become colonized before you even take your first breath.

    Once you're colonized, your collection of microorganims is completely unique.

    So remember, microorganisms aren't icky.

    They're actually more you than you are!