Buzz·Posted on Jun 2, 2018Here Are Some Of The Best Tweets By Women This Week"Insane that we don’t have one long weekend each month."by Erin ChackBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. libby watson @libbycwatson I hate when my son marries my damn wife 03:05 PM - 01 Jun 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Kylah L. Guion @KylahGuion I put in a request slip to get June 13th off. And I just got the email that said it got denied. June 13th is my birthday and I work for my mother. 03:37 PM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Hannah Murphy @dumb_hannah This bumble claw crane with no prizes is a chilling metaphor 03:38 PM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. 5. Jessica Kleinschmidt @KleinschmidtJD Goose DGAF: 06:00 PM - 31 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Mishell Baker 🌈 @mishellbaker *question answered, next dude steps up to mic* Hi, this is not so much a question and more of a-- *trap door opens, he plummets. Slurping sounds and screams are cut off by the sealing of the floor above him* *brief hiatus as two-thirds of the line return to their seats* 02:31 PM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett this morning at 7eleven i saw a woman slip a donut onto her own finger and mutter “look who’s married now, mom” 11:17 AM - 31 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. ♡ Ariana ♡ @itsthymee my dog’s best friend is a brick 04:38 AM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. Katrin @KatraHigher This woman was walking around NYC with this label on her shoe and now she's my wife 12:26 AM - 31 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. moon lady @shay_dust i am: ⚪️ straight ⚪️ gay ⚪️ bi 🔘 pregant? 🔘 pragnent? 🔘 pargant? 🔘 gregnant? 🔘 pegnate?? Help!? 🔘 pegrent? 🔘 pregegnant? 🔘 pregonate? 🔘 prengan? 🔘 prregnant???? 🔘 can u get pregante...? 🔘 pergert? 🔘 will my get pragnan? 🔘 if a women has starch masks 04:25 PM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Kelli Russell Agodon @KelliAgodon I just learned that there are harvest mice that sleep in tulip petals. There is good in the world. 01:20 AM - 31 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. 13. broti gupta @BrotiGupta DRAKE: “My name is Drake and I’m here to say / let’s diss pusha in a crazy way!” PUSHA: “Here is evidence that Drake colluded with Russia.” 05:12 PM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Premee @premeesaurus ALL MY NON-BRA-WEARING FRIENDS LOOK AWAY (whispers) ok whoever's left, is there a technical term for when you have a Bra Incident and you end up with either smashboob or fourboob and you can't fix it right away is the word i'm looking for calamatitty 03:08 AM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. golden state warrior blond @goldengateblond The maker of Ambien just announced its newest side effect is sick burns. 02:28 PM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. wikipedia brown will not yield not one second @eveewing “911, I’d like to report a drug dealer. He’s also having a BBQ. and dealing drugs. It’s a drugs BBQ. Please hurry” 01:24 AM - 30 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Daily Mail Sucks @elle91 THEY PUT OUR SCHOOL'S THERAPY DOG IN THE YEARBOOK 08:29 PM - 29 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen insane that we don’t have one long weekend each month 12:14 AM - 29 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Rachel @underthenettle this is a public lecture I thought about going to tonight but fuck, what a notification 06:22 AM - 29 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Alicia @doctoranovia a swedish guy in my japanese school: you know, sex is like pizza; even when it's bad, it's good girls in my class (me included): *awkward silence* an italian girl: you know, i don't even agree about the pizza part 01:23 PM - 28 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. 22. sav @s_rumer18 at Dick’s, it is a habit of mine to ask customers if they want their items in a bag after they check out. today, a woman came up to the register with 2 kayaks to buy. after ringing them up, i looked her dead in the eye and said “would you like these in a bag?” 01:33 AM - 28 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Erin 🦇 @pineapple_queer I spent way too long staring at this shirt in H&M trying to figure out what new queer slang this was 03:52 PM - 28 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. effe @njherondaIe People: Dua Lipa's music doesn't fit into the UEFA Champions League Liverpool fans: 04:19 PM - 27 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. 26. lil waste of space @pupperonis been thinking about..... Him 03:21 AM - 22 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. Cher @cher Come downs come down Bitch 08:48 PM - 25 May 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite