1.
yeah im thick thick and thired of these broken promithes
2.
MY DUDES I AM CRYING
3.
2000: Rock the Vote, teens!! 2004: voting is sexy!! 2016: vote for the first woman president, you’re making history!! 2018: please i beg you young assholes to vote so our country doesn’t become an overtly fascist regime
4.
Made the scariest costume I could think of. (Clive hooked it up to an Arduino device so the needle actually moved randomly.) https://t.co/93Vo0KTtDK
5.
Twitter should start slowly eliminating all its features, until the site is totally blank
6.
*stares in Muslim*
7.
So far 0% of white men in suits find it it funny when I lean in and whisper ‘scary costume’.
8.
this is the official “sry i couldn’t get hard that’s never happened to me before” emoji
9.
Ted Cruz is the only person who pretends to be a serial killer to be MORE likable https://t.co/W3hcR6ILSm
10.
Dressed up as my son forHalloween 👻
11.
The length of this hallway just called me poor. https://t.co/PYEDmxJIMR
12.
PER MY LAST EMAIL
13.
Halloween is good
14.
this is a cat finding out she is pregnant
15.
well.... at least he’s got a good teacher
16.
My dad put this up at his work and his boss told him to take it down or else he’d lose his job 😂
17.
Can y’all guess who my niece was
18.
Safe to say she won the pumpkin painting contest
19.
Well we were supposed to be Cleopatra and Caesar.. Classic case of miscommunication
20.
My friends were sexy devils for Halloween this weekend and I was the sexy paper clip from microsoft office, Clippy
21.
His name is garbage.
22.
Salem (the cat from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) walked the carpet at the premiere and it’s the most important thing to me right now bye https://t.co/qK8kJ7d2UZ
23.
My sister just sent me this and said her costume is “reverse cowgirl” 😂❤️🤠