Here Are 28 Of The Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

    "The temperature went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper."


    i texted my dad saying “happy monday let’s get this bread”. his response was “i can go to Costco after work”. amazing


    every drink i make is a handcrafted beverage made with care and craft


    The next princess/prince of the British Royal Family is also technically eligible to be elected President of the United States, and every season of Game of Thrones has taught me this is the way we will somehow get dragons. #RoyalBaby


    Baby fever AND puppy fever oh no no no


    Black Panther came out THIS year. That's how long the year has been😂💔


    Esto es lo más importante que verán hoy


    The temperature went from 90 to 55 like it saw a state trooper


    idk if anyone’s ever watched this girl before. but she eats edibles and then does makeup tutorials and i’m crying


    student athletes think tearing their acl is a personality trait


    Dude just cruised past me riding a lawn chair taped to an electric skateboard while vaping and blasting Jack Johnson. Now I’m questioning all my life choices.


    imagine you’re a moth and your single day of existence was spent being in lord of the rings





    This is the epitome of transferable job skills


    I love grading with my new stickers!


    Ariana had to learn the hard way what all women find out eventually: that sometimes you think a guy is amazing and funny and loving and sexy, but it turns out he’s just tall


    This is truly one of the worst pieces of home decor I've ever seen.


    i wonder if people think i’m just joking when i say “idk i can’t do math” when someone asks a rlly basic number related question but the truth is i’m never joking i can never do math under any circumstance


    My dog just got surgery because he tore a ligament in his knee so they had to shave him and now you can see his lil butt crack


    I once met a model at her apartment to shoot, and in the elevator I noticed that floors 4 and 17 had no buttons. When I asked why, she casually replied “Oh, those are Lady Gaga’s floors. She lives on the 17th, but her closet is the entire 4th floor.” I think about that everyday.


    His weed? I roll that. His hand? I hold that. His back? I got that. His wife? I am that. My role? I play that.We're happy? They hate that.


    i set my alarms extra early to make sure i have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up



    my ex told me one time that i only have guy friends bc they want to fuck me and i honestly think about it all the time when i’m fucking my guy friends



    men be like "it makes me feel so shitty when you say you feel bad when I treat you like shit"


    I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom in a single ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ONNNNNN” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.