1.
waiter: do you need a minute to look over the menu? me, researched it online: yes please
2.
I don't get this 10 year challenge, time is not something I acknowledge. 🤷♀️ *Picture taken at some point prior to today
3.
*picks up Theresa May's deal* But does this spark joy?
4.
Come, my lady.. come come, my lady.
5.
to whoever needed to see this: throw away your empty liquor bottles, they’re not decor
6.
Rudy Giuliani always looks like he just heard what Rudy Giuliani said
7.
people who back into parking spots just want attention
8.
🔊Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush (1978)
9.
some of yall didn’t get called out in middle school by some boy in the hallway saying “aye he likes you” and his friend responds “no tf I don’t she’s fuckin ugly af wtf” and it shows
10.
14 y/o me with my earphones on in the middle of the night after discovering m83
11.
[pressing my face up against a phone screen filled with beautiful rich people for a third consecutive hour] why am i sad
12.
me in my room in the dark at 3am tryna figure out whether that’s my jacket or a headless man standing VERY still
13.
It's unfathomable that we are only 20 days into 2019. It has easily been six months since new year's eve. I know this. I feel this.
14.
The wax lady to your labia after removing a strip
15.
Me: White girls laptop case: 🥂 𝐼 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝒶 𝓃𝒶𝓅 ºlllllllº I ❤️ ΠΚΑ ☕️ ✧ ✧ 🐶 ˢᴴᴱ ᴮᴱᴸᴵᴱᵛᴱᴰ ˢᴴᴱ ᶜᴼᵁᴸᴰ ☾ ˢᴼ ˢᴴᴱ ᴰᴵᴰ 🍍
16.
Because I only ever use one emoji, my phone has stored only one emoji as a person of color, and thus I have unintentionally created this work of art I call “Diversity Meeting”.
17.
I can’t believe the earth is 69 years old https://t.co/6ItOGVgeij
18.
customer: can you check for it in the back? me: sure! me, in the back:
19.
Its SO bizarre to me that "outfit repeating" is considered bad or embarrassing.. you expect me to buy this beautiful shit and wear it ONCE?! No maam I'm gonna wear it until I hate it and it goes out of style
20.
Me going to explain something I literally learned about 5 minutes ago
21.
Any guy who is 5’9: “I’m 5’11”
22.
when a man touches your lower back trying to “move past you” https://t.co/WnzvwZgIfJ