29 Of The Best Tweets By Women This Week

    "Crazy that every person in front of you at an ATM has never used an ATM before."


    Marie Kondo has proved irrefutably that no one is more annoying than people who think owning a lot of books is a personality.


    Hulu surprise dropping its Fyre Fest documentary today, mere days before Netflix was set to drop its own, is the level of aggressive pettiness I'm here for


    Neither bc Cleopatra wasn't white. Do the right thing and give the role to Scarlett Johansson. https://t.co/mWUwEdbbEb


    (i can’t believe i actually downloaded this app) but guys i found the holy grail of tiktoks and i’m crying


    “Here’s why that’s not healthy” https://t.co/Iiq22b5ASn


    ok, i have a confession. one time when i was doing a chem lab i purposefully ripped a hole in my glove, poured a (mild) acid on my hand, & my skin got irritated so my professor let me leave early all so i could go get an Einsteins Bagel. thank u for ur time


    This is the news photo that would make a returning time traveler realize they fucked something up


    When I said my parents were supportive, I wasn’t kidding 😂😂


    Crazy that every person in front of you at an ATM has never used an ATM before



    My impostor syndrome doesn’t scream I am a fraud all the time. Sometimes it whispers “the scam is working”


    y’all ... this is how my little brother came out to my mom in 2015 & I’ve still got it stuck in my head


    i can feel he comin in the air tonight oh lawd


    Idk how tinder did it but this is by far the most depressing notification I’ve ever received


    Are you a man who has built their career on taking credit for the work of younger women of color who get paid less than you? Now there’s an app for that!


    oh, you trained your dog in German? coolcoolcool i trained my dog in Harry Potter spells.


    I just remembered the time I was dating a British man and I was annoyed at him about something so I deliberately made my tea in the microwave while staring him right in the eyes


    My pal said this looks like Cillian Murphy and I can’t stop thinking about it


    I’ll never forget when my sister hit my car and her and my mom kept it a secret from me. I noticed it while on campus and filed a police report and everything. I called my mom crying and she really had the audacity to say “I hope they find who did it sweetie” ...it be ya own mom


    everyone who makes fun of how cats look in medieval paintings feels very dumb now


    me serving face in the mirror after crying for three hours straight


    How good were them lessons in school when a teacher would start talking bout their personal life and every1 would pretend to care and ask loads of questions to keep her going and pass time so didn’t have to do our work hahahaha miss school 😢


    she wears high heels i wear sneakers....


    some of y’all have never had your siblings chase you around the house with a knife when your parents were gone for hours at a time and it rly shows


    Yo don’t come to NYC to chase ur dreams if u can’t walk fuckin fast son


    Hayi hayi they Robed my child how could this be possible?


    if i lived in the 1800s i would be robbing everybody...no cameras what are they gonna do be mad?


    Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me


    My grandmother has a new “friend” at her retirement community. He takes her shopping and to get her hair and nails done. She told me that his wife doesn’t mind because she has Alzheimer’s. Ma’am.