• Viral badge
  • OMG badge
  • Smiley badge

Why No One Should Mess With The Ocean

Stick to pools.

First of all, the ocean is deep as fuck.

What we do know is that the pressure is so intense, no human* could make it even a quarter of the way down without THIS happening to their body:

This is what most of the ocean looks like:

It's probably better that it's dark down there, because THIS is the kind of shit you'd see:

It's a mix of hell and outer space.

I mean, there are ROLY-POLIES the size of your HEAD.

I heard they eat souls.

And SEA SPIDERS you'd need a bedsheet to squish!

And SEA WORMS big enough to use as jump ropes!

And whatever the hell THIS is:

Scientists estimate that up to 80% of all living things live in the ocean.

Since there is no sunlight at the very bottom of the ocean, there are no plants. So nearly everything down there preys on FLESH.

Every freakfish in the deep sea is just swimming around, chomping on anything it can find.

This is a goblin shark and it lives in the pitch-black waters of your nightmares.

What I'm getting at is this: Nearly everything has teeth.

It's a frickin' hellscape down there. There are vents of boiling-hot sulfuric acid that would take your face clean off your skull.

It literally snows shit.

And there are little to no standards of reality. For example, this is a barreleye:

The worst part is we've only explored less than 5% of the ocean.

So basically, we don't even know what the fuck is down there.