Buzz·Posted on May 5, 201744 Tweets For Women By Women That Are Just Really Fucking Funny"Oh my...yet another gentleman caller has sent me his penis portrait..."by Erin ChackBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. jordan rose @maliagif boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s 04:32 AM - 17 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Gabby Noone @twelveoclocke Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second 09:35 PM - 25 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Sophie Gadd @sophie_gadd Women's deodorant scents: rose, cotton, spring, meadow Men's: WINTER ICE, SHARKNADO, GLACIER PUNCH, ANTIFREEZE, GUN 10:15 PM - 01 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. 5. Mara Wilson @MaraWilson Periods are like a friend who comes bearing good news but then stays for a week, eats all your food, and borrows and ruins your clothes 04:22 PM - 19 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. beth can't with this @bourgeoisalien [1789, woman opens beautifully wrapped hand delivered message] Oh my...yet another gentleman caller has sent me his penis portrait... 08:06 PM - 22 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Sophia Benoit @1followernodad You can complain all you want about women taking selfies; we aren't the ones naming our children our own exact fucking names. 11:09 PM - 25 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. gina👻 @karenmoodys when it's been 20 years and you're still fed up of listening to men 10:52 PM - 11 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. JennyPentland @JennyPentland Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday. 05:39 AM - 18 Apr 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. ebony @ebs_rose are you even a girl if you don't tell people you're wearing jeans and a nice top ???? 11:29 AM - 19 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Just Gwen @msgwenl Don't hate the player, hate the social construct of performative masculinity, which encourages weak men to conform to a sexist narrative th 06:05 PM - 11 Nov 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. sophie @sophxthompson every time I find something in forever 21 02:31 PM - 14 Jan 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Alison Leiby @AlisonLeiby A cat-caller just said he wants to get "all up in my business" which is great because my taxes are complicated and I could use the help. 07:42 PM - 21 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. maura quint @behindyourback 20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30 1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgments 03:55 PM - 03 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Emily Faye @mlefaye I bet a lot of guys who don't think that rape is a big deal were super upset when that U2 album was put on their phone without consent. 01:41 AM - 07 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. 17. OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt The moral of Beauty and the Beast is that looks don't matter, as long as you're a man. Mon Jul 27 20:20:14 UTC+0000 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Amna @AGlasgowGirl A man once got mad bc my ma asked me for a tampon in Punjabi + demanded we speak English so my ma asked him if he had a tampon + he ran away 06:02 PM - 03 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. SpookySandwich @MarisaLange If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission. 07:08 PM - 19 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. 21. molly @MollySneed [first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally. 03:30 PM - 17 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. JEN KIRKMAN @JenKirkman Omg. I just realized. Of COURSE God is a woman. That's why the Bible is an entire book filled with men explaining what she said. 04:49 PM - 08 Jun 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end? 04:43 PM - 15 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. 25. It's Abby. Yep. @abbycohenwl Me: I know panty hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone Bank Teller: So is this not a robbery? Me: No, It is 10:00 PM - 26 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Siobhan Thompson @vornietom The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you're sick when you're not wearing makeup is a circle. 08:32 PM - 20 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. beth mccoll @imteddybless attention men: pls stop telling us you want to go down on us for "hours". thats way too long. we have stuff to do. i've got a lasagne cookin 02:09 PM - 06 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. 29. Sophia Benoit @1followernodad guys: women are a mystery. women: Here is what we- guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT? women: well for start- guys: Guess we'll never know! 10:45 PM - 04 Dec 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 30. Jessica Valenti @JessicaValenti Man: I'll never date a feminist Feminists: True 08:13 PM - 08 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. 32. blue pint witch @pxramore when u sit down and look at your stomach 12:12 PM - 05 Nov 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 33. WomanAgainstFeminism @NoToFeminism I don’t need femims because we have lost too many men to the friendzone. The zone where they get to be friends with women. It’s a nightmare 02:50 PM - 10 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 34. L A M I 🍫 @BlacHershey Sitting in a room with my husband and kids... Suddenly I realise everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow 02:28 PM - 11 Jan 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 35. Gloria Fallon @GloriaFallon123 Mona Lisa: (to self) Did this guy just tell me to fucking SMILE?? 12:54 PM - 30 Jul 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 36. Ali V. @alivingiano I can't think of anything that's better summed up what it's like to be a woman 🙃 05:55 PM - 15 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 37. Anna Fitzpatrick @bananafitz ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN: -Little Black Dress -Cute flats -Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn. 12:08 AM - 04 May 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 38. Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan @morninggloria If you're a male pundit critiquing a woman's weight you should have to do it shirtless in front of an audience of women three rosés deep 03:11 PM - 29 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 39. sarah hagi @geekylonglegs a girl i know in her 20s with a 40 yr old boyfriend captioned a pic of him cooking with "my man can cook" UM HE IS 40 THAT IS NOT IMPRESSIVE 03:22 PM - 02 Aug 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 40. Living Marble @living_marble Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans. 04:34 PM - 14 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 41. Megan Amram @meganamram Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful. 08:02 PM - 17 Sep 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 42. winnie @queenbronwyn baby: d-dd-d parents: dada?!?! baby: DESTROY THE FUCKIN PATRIARCHY *guitar solo* 01:15 AM - 31 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 43. Meg Monk-Sproul @MegMonk Like a gender reveal but instead of eating pink or blue cake you smash a piggy bank to reveal $1 if it's a boy or 78 cents if it's a girl 06:55 PM - 18 Mar 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 44. audrey farnsworth @audipenny We asked 500 men what they look for in a woman and then set them adrift on a raft screaming, because just kidding who cares 06:32 AM - 01 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite