1.
Every morning when my alarm goes off, I think "This is the worst thing that has EVER happened."
2.
Him: you look tired today Me: you look like you need a mouth that says better sentences
3.
DETECTIVE: There are signs of a struggle here [earlier that morning] ME: *trying to get up for work*
4.
the treadmill is a perfect metaphor for my life bc no matter how much i think im progresing im realy in the same place but also now im tired
5.
*wakes up* Not again
6.
I wonder what it's like to not be tired.
7.
The best thing about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours. Left, right, middle, whatever.
8.
no
9.
Kristen Stewart is the human equivalent of an exhausted sigh.
10.
CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP
11.
A fun part of your 30s is waking up thinking you're hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
12.
Me waking up for work
13.
GRANDPA: I served in WWII, the Korean War and built my own house. ME: I find I'm often too tired to text people back.
14.
[lays down for massage therapist] please no touching I just want to sleep
15.
Body "I am so tired" Brain "Coffee" Body "But I feel like I'm tired and going to explode" Brain "Coffee" Body "but"
16.
I have transcended tired. I am existing on brain frequencies beyond sleep. I understand L. Ron Hubbard.
17.
I would be a morning person, if morning happened around 1pm
18.
I'm so tired right now, I'm not sure if I just ordered coffee, or clotheslined a bald guy and kicked him 13 times for stepping on my foot.
19.
*rolls out of bed* *rolls into other strategically placed bed* "Nice."
20.
outside of bed: cold, refrigerated pale dough inside of bed: warm, flaky biscuit with beautiful melty slice of butter
21.
*Wakes up* Ugh my head. What did I do last night? *flash back to me going to sleep* Hell yeah
22.
If we ALL go back to bed, there's nothing they can do.