31 Things Every Human Being Has Fantasized About

If you say you haven’t thought about doing these things at least once, you are LYING.

1. Running a red light that’s taking too long to change.

I AIN’T GOT TIME FOR YOU, SOCIETY.

2. Kicking the ever loving shit out of a mugger.

YOU PICKED THE WRONG UNSUSPECTING PEDESTRIAN, PAL.

3. Talking back to your boss.

allmoviegifs.tumblr.com / Via Fox Searchlight Pictures

BOOM. HOW DOES THAT TASTE, SHEILA?

4. Punching someone—anyone—in the face.

giphy.com / Via Warner Bros. Television Distribution

PLEASE. PLEASE LET ME PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

5. Casually saving someone’s life.

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK.

6. Meeting your favorite celebrity and totally hitting it off with them.

giphy.com / Via Columbia Pictures

I KNEW IT. I KNEW WE’D BE BEST FRIENDS.

7. Shoplifting when something costs more than it should.

MINE NOW, SORRY.

8. Going up to an attractive person and suavely chatting them up.

gif-database.tumblr.com / Via Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

HELLO, I LIKE YOUR FACE.

9. Driving on the shoulder to avoid traffic.

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LANES CAN’T CONTAIN ME.

10. Telling that obnoxiously loud person on public transportation to STFU.

gifbay.com / Via Warner Bros. Television

THEY’RE CALLED HEADPHONES, LOOK ‘EM UP.

11. Quitting your job, going off the grid, and living off the land like nature intended.

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I DON’T NEED THIS 9-5.

12. Telling off a cat-caller.

 

SURPRISE! I’M A REAL PERSON.

13. Running into your ex when you look like a million bucks.

I ALWAYS PICK UP MILK IN STILETTOS.

14. Silencing your neighbor’s unruly animal.

forums.thebump.com / Via DreamWorks Pictures

IT’S LIKE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND COMMON COURTESY, DOG.

15. Silencing disorderly children on airplanes and in movie theaters.

YOU ACT LIKE BEING A BABY IS SO HARD.

16. Smashing things.

CATHARSIS.

17. Giving a homeless man a thousand dollars.

reddit.com / Via Columbia Pictures Corporation

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, GUY.

18. Slamming on your brakes when someones following too closely behind you.

IT’S HARD TO SEE YOU WHEN YOU’RE SO FAR UP MY BUTT HOLE.

19. Rear-ending people who cut you off.

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OOPS, DID YOUR CAR BREAK?

20. Splashing a drink in someone’s face.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED TO COOL DOWN.

21. Cutting in line.

kicksonfire.com / Via 20th Century Television

HATERS TO THE LEFT.

22. Diner Ditching.

hercampus.com / Via The Weinstein Company

HERE’S A TIP: DON’T LEAVE THE CHECK FOR AFTER THE MEAL, SUCKA.

23. Flipping a table.

sharegif.com / Via NBCUniversal Television Distribution

HAVE I MADE MY POINT?

24. Starting a food fight.

giphy.com / Via Fox Searchlight Pictures

EAT THAT.

25. Keying a poorly parked car.

veooz.com / Via Warner Bros Television Distribution

YOU DON’T GET TWO SPOTS JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE RICH.

26. Swimming in an obscene amount of money.

reddit.com / Via MTV Networks International

ACTUALLY THE COINS WOULD PROBABLY HURT. STICK TO DOLLA DOLLA BILLS, Y’ALL.

27. Touching a priceless work of art at a museum.

reddit.com / Via 20th Television

I HAVE TOUCHED GREATNESS.

28. Kicking down a door.

giphy.com / Via NBCUniversal Television Distribution

IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.

29. Liberating a loud talker from his phone.

reddit.com / Via Broadway Video

THE WORLD ISN’T YOUR PHONE BOOTH, DUDE.

30. Stealing food off another diner’s plate when you’re waiting for your meal at a restaurant.

COME ON, ONE FRY?

31. Delivering the world’s greatest comeback to your arch nemesis in a public setting.

misscinemafanatic.tumblr.com / Via Warner Bros. Television

I THINK MY LIFE JUST PEAKED.

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