We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their worst skinny-dipping horror story. Here are the hilariously cringeworthy results.
1. Two in the pink:
"I went skinny-dipping in Lake Michigan at a summer camp before my senior year of high school. It was late, we were all fired up on hormones, and the lake was strictly forbidden, so of course I was the first one to strip off my clothes and dive in. It wasn’t until two days later, after waking up with double pink eye AND the flu, that I saw a news story about that portion of the lake being contaminated."
2. Shark bait:
"My boyfriend and I went to a nude beach in Florida. While there, we noticed a man really struggling to reel in his fishing pole and went over to join the large group that was gathering to watch. He eventually reeled it in and there was a four-foot-long shark on the other end. Watching about 30 nude people trying to figure out how to deal with a shark is something I’ll never forget."
"After having too many drinks with friends we went back to our apartment pool and decided to skinny-dip. I decided to canon ball in, butt naked. Mid jump, I realize there’s flashlights on us and a police car. I come back up to the surface telling them 'Cops! Cops!' The officers just had their lights on us, laughing, as I ran back to my apartment."
"Once, at summer camp, my cabin decided to sneak out to the creek and go skinny-dipping. Little did we know that the boys decided to swim at the creek as well. We panicked and put on our towels (not our bathing suits) as they were walking over, had a short, blush-y conversation, and went back to our cabin still naked while the boys stayed. We didn’t get caught and never spoke of it again. My friend goes to camp another term, and I recently found out from her brother that they knew the whole time."
5. Daddy long legs:
"A friend and I were skinny-dipping in her backyard jacuzzi late one night when I felt something touch my leg. I didn’t think anything of it until it came to the surface. It was a WOLF SPIDER swimming like crazy to get out. I’m terrified of spiders so I screamed and jumped out. Well, my screams were heard by her dad who came running outside to see what was wrong. That was before I had the chance to grab my towel….let’s just say we didn’t make eye contact for a long time after!!!"
6. Dinner and a show:
"One day I was at my friend's birthday party sleepover. She had a pool and behind it we took our clothes off, and started to skinny-dip. However, there were a few people inside their house, including my best friend’s brother, who was also my crush. He apparently had to take out the trash after we'd eaten so much pizza, so he walked out to see me on the ladder, full-on NAKED. Oh my gosh — he screamed like a little girl and ran inside. We haven’t talked after that happened…"
7. Boatloads of fun:
"Me and my friends were being brave and skinny-dipping in the middle of the day (oh, to be foolish and young). The lake is right across from a popular wedding venue and we weren’t surprised when a pair of newlyweds started taking pictures somewhat near us. However, to our horror, they got into a canoe rowed past us on the way to the reception. The six of us had to crouch so that we were covered from the neck down while the new couple chatted with us about love before paddling off."
8. Right on cue:
"We were on a study abroad trip in high school (swanky, I know) to Taiwan, and my friends and I snuck out at midnight to go to the beach and stargaze. A friend suggested skinny-dipping, and she jumped in. Not only was the beach volcanic and covered in pointy rocks, but it was also CRAWLING with GIANT SEA CUCUMBERS! Imagine feeling one of those on your feet while you’re naked and it’s dark!"
9. Soup to nuts:
"I was skinny-dipping with my boyfriend in his backyard pool in high school. The people next door were having a huge family party and when they saw this strange naked man standing on a diving board, they figured they would throw things at him to get him off. Just as he was about to jump, this little boy threw this enormous platter of baklava at him. He got so scared he fell backwards and hit his nuts on the board. The glass from the platter was nearly impossible to clean up after, and I will never forget scrubbing the honey from the baklava off the diving board like a madman before his parents got back home."
10. Top this:
"Summer of my freshman year in high school, I went to Wild Rivers for my friend's birthday. I asked to borrow my older sister's bikini. It was a little looser on my frame than her more developed one, but I tied the strings extremely tight. But, I guess, not tight enough because I went down the slide with my top on and came out the other side flashing the lifeguard, who had to fish for my top as I sat covering my mosquito bites. I was so mortified…"
11. U jelly?
"When I was 13, me and my friends decided to go skinny-dipping. The water looked a bit sketchy, but we were super pumped up. I decided to jump in first so that no one would see me naked. I jumped into a school of jellyfish — it hurt like hell! — and I had to get out of water in front of everyone. I had been stung so bad that I had an allergic reaction. Still to this day I have scars on the left side of my body and my hands."
12. A comedy of errors:
"During college, a bunch of friends and I decided to rent a big house in the woods at the start of summer. We bushwhacked out to the lake, jumped in naked, played around, and then scrambled back. So many things went wrong: one guy slipped on a rock and got an enormous cut on his leg in the shape of an exclamation point. Another guy got about 40 mosquito bites. One guy came back with three leeches stuck to him, despite the fact that no one else encountered a leech. And then we got screamed at by everyone in the jacuzzi when we tried to get in without rinsing off, looking like Creatures from the Black Lagoon with all the lake mud."
13. Light it up:
"Our last summer at home after senior year, a group of us rented a cabin on the local lake. The girls in the group decided to go down to one of the more private parts of the lake one night and skinny-dip. It was pitch black out. 'But don’t worry, gals, I brought these super handy glow bracelets to light our way,' I said. The only problem? The girls were so bashful they kept trying to cover themselves with their hands, which were now conveniently lit by glow bracelets. Every time they went for whatever they wanted hidden, they did the exact opposite by lighting it up neon green or purple."
14. Daddy's girl:
"I was 16 and my friend and I decided to go night swimming. We were in the water and we both ended up fully naked swimming around the lake. Then we heard something splash into the water. IT WAS OUR FATHERS!!! Not only that but one of them stayed on the dock shining their flashlight into the water! Our bathing suits were on the dock so we were completely screwed."
15. It's a small world after all:
"One of my good friends was in college and she and a few of her friends decided to go skinny-dipping and pool hopping on a group dare. They all giddily hopped into a stranger's pool, but suddenly all of the lights went on in the house and somebody that they knew from college walked out."
16. Give 'er the old chicken cutlet:
"I was 17 and my friends and I went camping by a beach. We stripped naked in the shrub and started walking down the beach towards the water. As we got closer we noticed behind a locked supply shed was a group of teens drinking beers. My idiot self ran for the water instead of back to the bush where my clothes were. I don’t know what was worse: tripping on my way into the water and getting a vagina full of sand or having them taunting me about getting my clothes back."
"One time my cousin and I decided to go skinny-dipping in a pond near her house. The pond was at the bottom of a hill and unbeknownst to us, a nettle bush had fallen into the pond and all of its nettles had dispersed throughout. We were covered in stinging nettles. Every single crack of our bodies: in our noses, mouths, ears, eyes, EVERYWHERE. Don’t skinny-dip in nettle ponds!"
18. Party on:
"In high school my friends and I were pretty good kids, but one night we decided to be a little spontaneous and skinny-dip. All of a sudden, while we were out in the water, cars start to pull up. A party on the other side of town had been busted early on so they moved it to lake. We had to run through the party to find our clothes on the beach and high-tail it out of there. It was a small town so everyone knew who we were and I still get made fun of for it from time to time."
"When I was 19 my best friend, this older guy I thought was so cute, and I climbed the fence of our old high school's pool and went skinny-dipping there in the middle of the night. Obviously trying to impress the guy, I decided to do some fancy jump off the diving board, stark naked, when my friend yells something at me. Only as I’m in the air does my brain understand what she said: 'Watch out for the lane lines!' You know, those horribly hard, plastic, weirdly sharp lane dividers along the pool? I landed exactly on my lady bits, just a nice full split right on top."
"One New Year’s Eve, two of my friends and I decided we were gonna go down to the beach for a skinny-dip at midnight. We got down there and stripped down to our birthday suits, when this man and woman walked up to us with a camera. They explained that they have a lifestyle blog, and they’d like to take pictures of us for it. We basically said, we’re going in the water — if you want to take pictures of us going then nothing’s stopping you. When we got out, the pair said they could send us the pictures if we emailed them. My friend took the card and did just that. Never got a response back."
21. Bottom's up:
"I didn’t intentionally go skinny-dipping, but it turned into that when I hopped the fence of my local swim club one night as a teenager with my friends. As I was halfway over the top of it, my bathing suit bottoms got caught on the fence, leaving me dangling from it until they eventually ripped apart and I was left bottomless. Instant karma."
22. Family affair:
"My parents have a pool and they always told me that I can come use it whenever I wanted. They were out of town for the weekend and it was my birthday so my husband and I decided to do something we wouldn’t normally do and go skinny-dipping. Things escalated pretty quickly and got a bit steamy. The next morning my mom texts me to tell me that they had put in security cameras around the house and she got a notification that there was some movement while they were away so she opened the app and saw us in the pool. She claims that she closed the app as soon as she realized that it was her daughter in the pool and not someone breaking in, but let’s just say her and my dad have me and my husband's sex tape recorded forever."
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