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17 Short, Clean Jokes

Just in case you need a laugh today. Via /r/askreddit.

1. I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday.

2. I have the heart of a lion

3. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows on too high.

4. Why don't blind people typically skydive?

5. I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.

6. A termite walks into a bar.

7. What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

8. What do we want? "Another question!" When do we want it?

9. Two drums and a cymbal fall out of a tree.

10. What do you call a fake noodle?

11. Did you hear the rumor going around about butter?

12. Do you know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?

13. What's red and smells like blue paint?

14. Why can't you trust a tree on a sunny day?

15. What happened to the cow that tried to jump over the barbed wire fence?

16. Do you know what my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?

17. A ghost walks into a bar and orders a shot of vodka.