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Literally Just 25 Pure Tweets

Cleanse your soul.

Posted on

1.

Everything is all Trump this and Clinton that and in the meantime we're missing the important news

2.

Honestly thought someone was just super excited about the drinks machine

3.

4.

I'M AT THIS PUMPKIN PATCH IN CULVER CITY AND THIS GUY IS TRULY HAVING A FULL ON PHOTOSHOOT WITH HIS DOG

5.

This is an original Snoop Dogg painting, and Snoop gave it to me as a gift! Very nice, don't you think?

6.

Bob Ross: *draws a branch* me: nice Bob Ross: *draws second branch* cause everyone needs a friend me: *holding back tears* nice

7.

My new hobby: finding incomprehensible diagrams on office whiteboards and adding alarming conclusions to them

8.

Rare image of a shark stepping on a Lego.

9.

My daughter brings a checklist to stores now and just makes random checks. It makes everyone uncomfortable.

10.

Look, @Arbys, I'll try your Smoke House, but there's no need to call me names.

11.

My children gathered beside my coffin: She looks so peaceful. And that was her favorite dress. Dead me sits straight up: IT HAS POCKETS!!!!!

12.

"i've been expecting-" "no it is i who have been-" "i expected you to say that" "aha just as i expected

13.

more grateful than normal for @haleymlotek for introducing me to my new all time favorite google search

14.

just noticed how the Cap'n becomes increasingly unhinged as the sugar content increases over the years

15.

Harry πŸ‘ Potter πŸ‘ Isn't πŸ‘ Real πŸ‘ I πŸ‘ Just πŸ‘ Found πŸ‘ Out πŸ‘ I'm πŸ‘ So πŸ‘ Sad

16.

in the third grade i was obsessed with michael jordan so i carried a cardboard cutout of him around for a month

17.

Carry yourself w/the confidence of a girl holding a massive owl.

18.

I keep this pic of Terry Crews in my wallet so I can see it when I'm about to waste money on things I don't need Iol

19.

20.

this man is so sprung, ain't nothing in the world she could say that could be that funny.

21.

Rory Gilmore doesn't know how to hold everyday objects, a series

22.

23.

favorite part of googlemaps is this man unzipping his cargo pants into cargo shorts at the grand canyon

24.

if pangolins had a catch phrase it would be "ok I guess that's fine"

25.

Pls look @ this picture of my dog if you're having a bad day

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