1. Leaving your bed is the most difficult part of your day:
DETECTIVE: There are signs of a struggle here [earlier that morning] ME: *trying to get up for work*
2. You are convinced your bed loves you as much as you love it:
3. You have one thing to say to your alarm clock:
4. And once it's time to leave, you're like:
5. Sometimes you miss your bed during the day:
6. Seeing someone else in bed can fill you with an intense, jealous rage:
7. You know exactly how you'd spend your perfect day:
*rolls out of bed* *rolls into other strategically placed bed* "Nice."
8. There's only one part of "breakfast in bed" that appeals to you, and that's BED:
9. You don't care what's going on around you, as long as you're in your bed:
10. Winter, spring, summer, or fall:
11. Everything reminds you of your bed:
outside of bed: cold, refrigerated pale dough inside of bed: warm, flaky biscuit with beautiful melty slice of butter
12. Sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself to socialize with people since it means leaving your bed:
13. Because beds are better than socializing!!! It's just a fact!
14. You can rationalize any bad situation using your bed:
The best thing about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours. Left, right, middle, whatever.
15. This is how you feel after a full day away from your precious bed:
16. And once you're reunited, you're like:
17. ’Cause the truth is:
