22 Objects People Have Actually Lost In Their Ass
So deep up their butt they couldn't take it out. Just like these images and your MIND.
BuzzFeed Staff
BuzzFeed News Reporter
1. A body spray canister:
Ahmed: Do you think he was trying to make his farts less stinky.
Erin: I wish, Ahmed. I wish.
2. A house key:
Erin: The key to his heart is really in his butt.
Ahmed: Listen. As someone who regularly forgets their key at home, this speaks to me.
3. A beer bottle:
Ahmed: I just want to know if this was a closed or open bottle and also why.
Erin: I am ashamed to admit I know what brand beer this is based on the shape of the bottle and now I can never buy it again.
4. A flashlight:
Ahmed: Ha ha ha was this guy trying to be a firefly for Halloween or something ha ha ha
Erin: It's like a reverse Fleshlight.
5. A peanut butter jar:
Erin: Ha, peanut BUTTer.
Ahmed: WHY WOULD YOU WASTE PB LIKE THAT
6. A teeny-tiny toy car:
Erin: He took "park it in the rear" too literally.
Ahmed: Vroom vroom.
7. A billiard ball:
Ahmed: Looks like the cue ball.
Erin: Well, now it's the butt ball.
8. A dumb phone:
Ahmed: Again. Why.
Erin: The butt dial to end all butt dials.
9. A pint glass.
Ahmed: That's one way to do your dishes, I guess.
Erin: How many of those did he drink before he was like, "I've got an idea."
10. A gun
Erin: In some states it's legal to carry a concealed weapon. They never specify how you have to conceal it.
Ahmed: This looks fake, but OK.
11. Spray paint
Ahmed: So '90s.
Erin: Whatever color that spray paint was, it's brown now.
12. A live shell.
Erin: I also like to live dangerously.
Ahmed: Nothing about this makes sense to me.
13. Another bottle, but with a fake hip:
Ahmed: I WISH THE PHOTO WAS FAKE TOO.
Erin: That's not how you drink that.
14. A bottle with a retrieval wire.
Ahmed: Ah, the best-laid plans of ass and men.
Erin: Never leave a fallen soldier behind, I guess.
15. A lightbulb.
Ahmed: I can't even look at this.
Erin: "Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea." —Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs
16. A tiny, but not too tiny knife.
Ahmed: ...I truly feel nauseous.
Erin: I bet that...cuts like a knife.
17. A Coffee Mate creamer lid
Ahmed: Just the lid, though. Can't taint the creamer.
Erin: Lol, "taint."
18. A dildo.
Erin: Fair enough.
Ahmed: Aight.
19. A. Dildo.
Erin: Honestly, these these are the least concerning.
Ahmed: So much variety!
20. A dildo and tongs.
Erin: Toss that salad, I guess.
Ahmed: This is fire. Give this dude an award.
21. A whole shampoo bottle.
Erin: "Whoops, I slipped a fell in the shower and landed on the shampoo bottle and now it's in my butt."
Ahmed "How else am I gonna cure my chronic butt dandruff?"
22. Aaaaaand a Buzz Lightyear action figure.
Ahmed: To infinity....
Erin: And butt-ond.