1. A body spray canister: imgur.com Ahmed: Do you think he was trying to make his farts less stinky.Erin: I wish, Ahmed. I wish. 2. A house key: imgur.com Erin: The key to his heart is really in his butt. Ahmed: Listen. As someone who regularly forgets their key at home, this speaks to me. 3. A beer bottle: imgur.com Ahmed: I just want to know if this was a closed or open bottle and also why.Erin: I am ashamed to admit I know what brand beer this is based on the shape of the bottle and now I can never buy it again. 4. A flashlight: imgur.com Ahmed: Ha ha ha was this guy trying to be a firefly for Halloween or something ha ha haErin: It's like a reverse Fleshlight. 5. A peanut butter jar: imgur.com Erin: Ha, peanut BUTTer.Ahmed: WHY WOULD YOU WASTE PB LIKE THAT 6. A teeny-tiny toy car: imgur.com Erin: He took "park it in the rear" too literally.Ahmed: Vroom vroom. 7. A billiard ball: imgur.com Ahmed: Looks like the cue ball.Erin: Well, now it's the butt ball. 8. A dumb phone: imgur.com Ahmed: Again. Why.Erin: The butt dial to end all butt dials. 9. A pint glass. imgur.com Ahmed: That's one way to do your dishes, I guess.Erin: How many of those did he drink before he was like, "I've got an idea." 10. A gun imgur.com Erin: In some states it's legal to carry a concealed weapon. They never specify how you have to conceal it.Ahmed: This looks fake, but OK. 11. Spray paint imgur.com Ahmed: So '90s.Erin: Whatever color that spray paint was, it's brown now. 12. A live shell. imgur.com Erin: I also like to live dangerously. Ahmed: Nothing about this makes sense to me. 13. Another bottle, but with a fake hip: imgur.com Ahmed: I WISH THE PHOTO WAS FAKE TOO.Erin: That's not how you drink that. 14. A bottle with a retrieval wire. imgur.com Ahmed: Ah, the best-laid plans of ass and men.Erin: Never leave a fallen soldier behind, I guess. 15. A lightbulb. imgur.com Ahmed: I can't even look at this. Erin: "Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea." —Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs 16. A tiny, but not too tiny knife. imgur.com Ahmed: ...I truly feel nauseous.Erin: I bet that...cuts like a knife. 17. A Coffee Mate creamer lid imgur.com Ahmed: Just the lid, though. Can't taint the creamer.Erin: Lol, "taint." 18. A dildo. imgur.com Erin: Fair enough.Ahmed: Aight. 19. A. Dildo. imgur.com Erin: Honestly, these these are the least concerning.Ahmed: So much variety! 20. A dildo and tongs. View this image on Imgur Via imgur.com Erin: Toss that salad, I guess.Ahmed: This is fire. Give this dude an award. 21. A whole shampoo bottle. imgur.com Erin: "Whoops, I slipped a fell in the shower and landed on the shampoo bottle and now it's in my butt."Ahmed "How else am I gonna cure my chronic butt dandruff?" 22. Aaaaaand a Buzz Lightyear action figure. gizmodo.com Ahmed: To infinity....Erin: And butt-ond.