OK, so you know what asparagus looks like, right?

Sommail / Getty Images
Like little green paintbrushes that you can munch on.
Now close your eyes and ask yourself, "Do you know how asparagus grows?"

Erin Chack, artist
Did you think it grew on vines?

Erin Chack, a visionary
Did you think it grew on trees?

Erin Chack, a better Picasso
Or maybe you thought it grew in lil' bunches? (Same.)

Erin Chack, the greatest painter to ever live
Yeah, the spears just pop up like single ladies at a Beyoncé concert.

Stu120 / Getty Images
And if you let it keep growing, the spear will flower! IS THERE ANYTHING ASPARAGUS CAN'T DO?

OK BYE!!!

Anka100 / Getty Images
Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
Should I get paid to write this shit?
-
vote votesYes! I learned something today.
-
vote votesNo, everyone knows how asparagus grows, you city bitch.