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    15 Bad Things That Kinda Sound Like Names For A Sweet Baby Girl

    So many sweet-sounding names for my sweet baby girl.

    1. Chlamydia

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    I know it's a sexually transmitted disease but it just sounds like a sweet baby name for a sweet baby girl.

    2. Vulva

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    A vulva is like a beautiful flower and so is my sweet baby girl, Vulva.

    3. Calamity

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    How could a word that means disaster sound so old-timey and twee? "Calamity!!! Go wash up for dinner, sweet baby girl!" See?

    4. Verruca

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    A verruca is an unusually painful wart that grows on the bottom of your foot but to me it is a name I want to hear booming over the loud speaker when my sweet baby girl graduates college summa cum laude.

    5. Cholera

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    If it's a diarrhea disease then why can I see it so clearly written on a tiny gold necklace that I give my sweet baby girl on her 12th birthday?

    6. Placenta

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    So feminine. So sweet. So baby. So girl.

    7. Cacophony

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    A word used for a loud, clashing racket ORRR the star player in the rec soccer league AKA my sweet baby girl, Cacophony.

    8. Areola

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    We allow Arielle and Ariana and Arlene but not Areola? Well tell that to my sweet baby girl, Areola, who will one day be the first woman to walk on Mars.

    9. Diarrhea

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    This one might be hard to argue.

    10. Thrush

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    It's technicaaally a yeast infection of the mouth or vagina, but I think it sounds like our first female president, my sweet baby girl.

    11. Uvula

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    It's the hangy ball at the back of your throat AND the next great American poet, Uvula Chack, forever my sweet baby girl.

    12. Sarcoma

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    Sarcoma has a nice, smooth mouthfeel despite being the word for malignant tumor. Either way, if it's nice enough for medical textbooks it's nice enough for my sweet baby girl.

    13. Atrocity

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    I think NOT naming my sweet baby girl this would be an atrocity.

    14. Melancholy

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    Melanie? Melody? KEEP 'EM. My sweet baby girl's name is going to be Melancholy.

    15. Syphilis

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    Guys, it's basically Phyllis.

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