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31 Dumb Tweets You Can't Help But Laugh At

The dumber the funnier, imho.

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1.

Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but- Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what

2.

I was high and this looked like the fish from spongebob

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4.

THE PIKACHU REACHED OUT TO PET MY HEAD?????? IM NO SURE WHY BUT I ACCEPTED IT

5.

My son wrote "thicc" on my patio 56 times.

6.

fidget spinners are whack, when I was in 8th grade we'd shove a spoonful of cinnamon down our throats and try to survive for fun

7.

Is this what private schools are like?

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8.

me: *heelies into my therapists office sipping a pina colada* maurice you're not gonna fucking believe this

9.

Graduated with a 9.0 Gpa, 80,000,000$ dollars in scholarships, 2 Grammys, Olympic gold medalist, and went 2xPlatinu… https://t.co/pbkvUm4cc2

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11.

The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck, a lovely duck that drinks milkshakes! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the duck is racist

12.

I CANT BELIEVE THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME IM SCREAMING

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13.

COWORKER: hey how are u ME (in his face): stop asking me questions i dont know answers to, greg

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15.

If white people have no culture why does Spicy Water exist 😤😤😤

16.

If you can have soup in a bread bowl there's absolutely no reason why you can't have a hot tub in a bigger bread bowl.

17.

just cracking open a cold one with the boys

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18.

yeah i smoke weed W - mom E - pick E- me up D - this party is scary

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20.

Yes, finally a swimsuit that allows me to sneak a ham poolside.

21.

Me: hey Person with clear skin: honestly😭 its just water

22.

Smokin a blunt I see some disrespectful ass flies havin sex on my foot

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23.

I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Hello Dying my name's Dad

24.

Me: I've gotta eat better *tries brown rice*

25.

It's weird to think people who are 5ft are only 5 subways long

26.

I texted the phone number one above mine and

27.

Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Barkeep: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Arnold Palmer: Mmm... its good... I just invented it.

28.

"you're all probably wondering why I've brought you here today"

29.

unfollow me now if you play the flute, I don't need that kind of drama in my life. clarinet players can stay but you're on fucking thin ice

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31.

I got called pretty today, actually the full statement was "youre pretty dumb" but im only focusing on positive things today

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