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22 Definitions Only College Kids Know

Studying. Riiight.

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An optional class.

Watching Netflix with an open textbook nearby.


The fifth and final day of the Thursday–Monday weekend.

A prepackaged super meal, which contains all the vitamins and nutrients required to sustain life.


A one-week period before the start of classes reserved for adding people on Facebook you will never talk to again.

Approximately seven to ten useful pages of information surrounded by $300 worth of irrelevant paper.


A child put in charge of other children; king of the children.

Mild constipation for nine months of the year.


Freshman identification tag.

An area reserved for public naps.


A place where you eat cereal for dinner while avoiding eye contact with someone you hooked up with freshman year.

A periodically scheduled panic attack.


An assessment of how well students can manipulate margins, headers, and punctuation sizes.

A four-month-long vacation that is periodically interrupted by classes.


An organization that you join in order to eat free pizza every Wednesday evening.

School-sanctioned drinking clubs.


The quotient of the total grade points received divided by the credits earned, which is then severely rounded up and written on a résumé.

A freebie.


A psychological experiment in which universities attempt to learn what the smallest amount of space two or more people can co-habit at one time is.

A vessel for collecting and displaying human hair.


A sheet of paper that lets students know which days of class are OK to skip.

The end of college and the beginning of the pre-death period also known as "adulthood."