1. Morning class
An optional class.
Watching Netflix with an open textbook nearby.
The fifth and final day of the Thursday–Monday weekend.
A prepackaged super meal, which contains all the vitamins and nutrients required to sustain life.
A one-week period before the start of classes reserved for adding people on Facebook you will never talk to again.
Approximately seven to ten useful pages of information surrounded by $300 worth of irrelevant paper.
7. Resident adviser (RA)
A child put in charge of other children; king of the children.
8. Communal bathroom
Mild constipation for nine months of the year.
Freshman identification tag.
An area reserved for public naps.
11. Dining hall
A place where you eat cereal for dinner while avoiding eye contact with someone you hooked up with freshman year.
A periodically scheduled panic attack.
An assessment of how well students can manipulate margins, headers, and punctuation sizes.
14. Study abroad
A four-month-long vacation that is periodically interrupted by classes.
15. Student group
An organization that you join in order to eat free pizza every Wednesday evening.
16. Greek life
School-sanctioned drinking clubs.
17. Grade point average
The quotient of the total grade points received divided by the credits earned, which is then severely rounded up and written on a résumé.
18. Online quiz
19. Dorm room
A psychological experiment in which universities attempt to learn what the smallest amount of space two or more people can co-habit at one time is.
20. Floor showers
A vessel for collecting and displaying human hair.
A sheet of paper that lets students know which days of class are OK to skip.
The end of college and the beginning of the pre-death period also known as "adulthood."