You have an Instagram page for your pet.You have a Facebook page for your pet.You call your pet by a special nickname when it's just the two of you.You have a personalized song for your pet.You've set up a webcam to monitor your pet while you're away/at work.You constantly feel the need to check in on him/her.Your friends ask about your pet before they ask about you.You have to stop yourself from talking about your pet constantly.You've bought your pet a coat.You've bought your pet a hoodie and/or sweater.You've bought your pet clothes to root for your favorite sports team.You've bought your pet a hat.You've bought your pet booties.Your pet has its own closet.You dress your pet up for Halloween.Your pet's Halloween costume is usually more involved than your own.You take him/her to the pet parade on Halloween.You've googled "how to get involved in dog/cat modeling."You fantasize about taking your pet to competitions.Your pet has WON a competition.You let your pet sleep in bed with you....and he/she takes up most of the space.You don't mind this fact.If your significant other doesn't like your pet, it's a deal breaker.You wonder why people have children when they can just have a pet who will always love them.You've bought an airplane ticket for your pet so he/she wouldn't have to travel in cargo.You've bought a bus/train ticket for your pet.Your pet has his/her own seat at the Thanksgiving table.Around the holidays, there are more presents for your pet than for anyone else.You have included your pet in your holiday card.Your holiday card consists of only your pet.If you celebrate Christmas, your pet has its own stocking.Your pet is involved in all holiday activities.You've painted your pet's nails.You've trained your pet to use the toilet bowl.You find yourself talking out loud to yourself about how much you love your pet.You stare at your pet for minutes on end, thinking about how cute he/she is.You tell your pet out loud how pretty/handsome he/she is.You've told someone "OMG look how cute he/she is!" when your pet was literally sitting there motionless.When you're out and about you say their name to see them turn around and just say, "Hey."You relish the excuse to go home and "take care" of your pet because you just want to hang out with them.You enjoy the company of your pet more so than of any human in your life.Your pet has a personalized name bowl.You've baked homemade treats for your pet.You'll cut up treats into smaller bits so they can chew them better.You feed them from your plate.You buy pricey/organic food for your pet.When they burp, you think it's the cutest thing in the world.When they fart, you think it's the cutest thing in the world.A picture of your pet is your computer and/or phone screensaver.A picture of your pet is your Facebook and/or Twitter cover image.You've downloaded games for your pet on your iPad.You've taken videos of your pet playing said games.You started using Vine just to take Vines of your pet.You've made your pet take selfies.You have a framed picture of your pet.You have a professional painting of your pet.You have a shirt with your pet's face on it.You and your pet have matching outfits.You squish your pet's face and kiss it on the lips until it wants to escape.You sometimes poke them when they are asleep so you can play.You get worried when other people take care of your pet.You've enrolled your pet in doggie daycare so he/she's not lonely during the day.You worry the other dogs at daycare aren't going to be nice to your dog.You take your pet to work with you.If it's between you and your pet going to the doctor, your pet always wins.You have personalized pet furniture in your home.You've installed pet steps in your home (e.g., cat staircase on the wall, dog steps to couch).You find yourself having at least one conversation about your pet per day.You have more pictures of your pet in your phone than of anything else.Sometimes you imagine what occupation your pet would be if it were a human.You have birthday parties for your pet every year......for which you make your pet a "cake" out of their favorite food.Your pants are constantly covered in fur.But you couldn't care less!People at the pet store and veterinarian's office know you by name.People at the pet store and veterinarian's office know your pet by name.Your pet has more toys than you ever did.Your pet has more toys than your children do.Whenever you're out at Target/the drugstore/grocery store, you always stop by the pet aisle before you leave.You love your pet more than you thought humanly possible.
How Obsessed With Your Pet Are You?
Wait, do you actually even have a real, live, breathing animal in your home?! Because you need to LOVE YOUR PET MORE! Unless, like, your pet is a fish or an ant on an ant farm, in which case it's totally reasonable not to be super-obsessed with it.
You're mildly obsessed with your pet. You give it the love and care it needs, and enjoy its company, but without going totally over the top. Most people might not even realize you have a pet, but the good news is there's still time for your obsession with your fuzzy (or feathery, or scaly) friend to grow!
You're super-obsessed with your pet, and some of your favorite life memories probably include maxin' & relaxin' with your animal companion. You don't quite teeter on the edge of insanity when it comes to expressing your love for him/her — though you've often come close — but you couldn't imagine life without the tail-wagging or purring affection you're lucky enough to have each day.
If you and your pet woke up one day as conjoined twins, that would literally be your dream come true. You are totally, utterly, crazily obsessed with your pet, who is the center of your life and pretty much your primary reason for living. Most people probably know you as "[your pet's name]'s owner" rather than your own actual name, and you're OK with that, because who needs an identity when you have a fuzzy (or feathery, or scaly) best friend to hang out with every day?