How Good At Farting Are You?

How well-acquainted are you with poop’s friendly cousin?

  1. Check all that apply:
    1. 1 You know what it means to “Dutch oven” someone.
    2. 2 You’ve Dutch ovened someone before.
    3. 3 You’ve Dutch ovened your significant other before.
    4. 4 You’ve Dutch ovened your pet before.
    5. 5 You have a nickname for your farts.
    6. 6 You have different nicknames for different types of farts.
    7. 7 You fart openly in front of your family.
    8. 8 You fart openly in front of your friends.
    9. 9 You fart openly in front of strangers.
    10. 10 You’ve had a fart-off with a friend.
    11. 11 You’ve won a fart-off with a friend.
    12. 12 You’ve lost a fart-off with a friend and challenged said friend to a rematch.
    13. 13 You’ve listed “farting” as a favorite activity on Facebook.
    14. 14 You’ve listed “farting” as a favorite activity on a dating site.
    15. 15 You’ve had messages with prospective dates about farting.
    16. 16 You’ve farted on a first date.
    17. 17 You’ve farted during ~bedroom fun~.
    18. 18 You’ve farted in bed and not really been all that embarrassed about it.
    19. 19 You think farting is a fun bonding activity.
    20. 20 You think, “If I can’t talk to you about farting, we can’t be friends.”
    21. 21 You think, “If I can’t talk to you about farting, we can’t date.”
    22. 22 You think, “If you get scared of farts, you can’t be my pet.”
    23. 23 You believe farting, like the human experience, is beautiful.
    24. 24 You can predict what kind of fart you’ll have based on what you ate for lunch.
    25. 25 You can hold in a fart until you’ve made it safely to a bathroom.
    26. 26 You’ve perfected the art of prolonging a fart to make it as quiet as possible.
    27. 27 You are good at hiding a loud fart by making distracting noises.
    28. 28 You have never, EVER sharted.
    29. 29 You have woken yourself up with a fart and laughed about it.
    30. 30 Someone else has woken you up with their fart and you laughed about it.
    31. 31 You can fart on cue.
    32. 32 You can make a song via farts.
    33. 33 You’ve written a poem or story about farting.
    34. 34 Morning alone-time farts are a favorite part of your wake-up routine.
    35. 35 You’ve used farts to diffuse a fight/lighten someone’s mood.
    36. 36 You think that couples who don’t fart in front of each other are WEEEEIRD.
    37. 37 You think, “To fart is to be free.”
    38. 38 You never tire of fart jokes.
    39. 39 Or reading about farts.
    40. 40 Or taking quizzes about farts.

Thumbnail image via Shutterstock/PathDoc

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