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    34 Things You Need If You're In A Committed Relationship With Yourself

    "OMG you shouldn't have!" — you, to you.

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    1. An Urban Decay travel-ready eyeshadow palette with a whopping *21* shades, because your face is a work of art and deserves to be treated as such.

    2. A gold-plated necklace with orchids as the pendant, so you can give yourself a bouquet every darn day.

    3. A dramatic custom portrait that'll let you regally watch over yourself all day every day. Not to mention the world can finally see how you see yourself — nothing short of heroic.

    4. A set of household hand tools for "uh-oh" moments you are MORE than capable of handling. Between you and Google, nothing is impossible.

    5. A jar of Herbivore Botanicals all-natural milk bath soak, because sometimes you just need an extra-fancy bath time after a hard day of being extra-great you.

    6. A pair of luxe earrings with metal studs and crystal tassels — you're *this close* to buying yourself a diamond ring. Baby steps.

    7. A flattering carry-all pouch that'll tell people they weren't imagining what they saw in the bathroom — you really were giving yourself a smooch in the mirror.

    8. A selfies album for walking down memory lane with your beloved — you, and you. Beautiful.

    9. A pair of black lace underwear, because sometimes you just want to feel super sexy for yourself. Mission accomplished.

    10. A tube of Winky Lux lip balm made with matcha green tea powder and food-grade vanilla so your lips are always soothed and ready to pucker (at yourself).

    11. A subtle vibrator necklace that'll let you ~treat yourself~ in more ways than one. Chic jewelry? Check. Stress....relief? Also check.

    12. A pack of 50 affirmation cards for telling you things you already know, but are still nice to hear. Why thank you self, I AM doing a wonderful job today!

    13. A self-care subscription box, because you hate to see those you love most stressed. Better start your day (weekend? month?) of pure relaxation asap!

    14. A hand-poured candle (with a scent reminiscent of red roses) so you can wind down in the most romantic way possible every night.

    15. An insulated french press coffee mug that'll help you stay pleasantly awake. You're supporting yourself — you have to remain alert enough to bring home the bacon!

    16. A monogram straw tote bag with a pretty cotton scarf for showing off your favorite letter. Let me guess...could it be the first of your name?

    17. A gorgeous lace balconette bra, because wearing beautiful lingerie for yourself is even better when it's supportive, comfortable, and **elastic-free**.

    18. A friendly, heat-resistant spatula so you're reminded of how lovely it is to start the day with yourself every morning (rain or shine).

    19. A llama enamel pin that'll agree that life is better without drama — aka when you have people other than yourself in your life.

    20. A bottle of Dr. Roebuck's lightweight facial moisturizer with rejuvenating ingredients like vitamin E, rosehip oil, hyaluronic acid, and macadamia oil for literally bringing out your inner glow.

    21. A silicone baking mold for bite-size brownies, because you already don't plan on sharing with anyone. If they're mini it's totally fine to eat the whole pan, right? Right.

    22. A sonic massager so the only thing between you and yourself is this ~middle man~. But you won't mind. At all.

    23. A pack of encouraging folders that'll cheer you on and keep you motivated — that new dress isn't going to buy itself! Keep 👏 that 👏 hustle 👏 going.

    24. A selfie-improving ring light for making every single angle your best. But that was already true.

    25. A red-hot romper, because you need only dress up for yourself. Who's that in the mirror? OF COURSE it's you!

    26. A bottle of Bliss clay-to-foam cleanser great for minimizing pores so you can still "mask" and maintain a luxurious-feeling skin care routine even on busy days. You've EARNED it.

    27. A pair of mod plastic sunglasses, because you already make heart eyes at yourself — now you can make it literal.

    28. A box of assorted tea samplers in single servings so you don't have to make a whole pot when just trying to relax. No cleanup? Count me IN.

    29. A green tea memory foam mattress topper that'll help you get even more beauty sleep (and give you unnecessary encouragement to stay in bed with yourself).

    30. A forktula, aka how to turn your fork into a spatula, for getting every last drop of food into your belly after making yourself yet another amazing meal.

    31. An LED tri-fold vanity mirror, because this will not only tell you who's the fairest of them all, but will do so in high definition.

    32. A pack of makeup brushes so you have all the proper tools you need to *highlight* all the beautiful features of your face. Am I making you blush?

    33. A pair of metallic wireless headphones that'll allow you to block everyone out in favor of your own thoughts. But you'll look chic doing it, so no one will be mad.

    34. An extensive hardcover journal with inspirational questions and goals for giving you daily motivation to stay on your career path. Who deserves a raise? You. When? IMMEDIATELY.

    When people ask when you're going to care about someone other than yourself:

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